Death Watch 2007

Welcome to the 12 Seahawks Street version of the Obituary Page, NFL style.

So far two NFL GMs have either stepped down or been given the boot, and rumor has it that Brian Billick is receiving last rites in Baltimore. [edit: no call from the Maryland Gov'ner]

Check back throughout the day as more head coaches and front office personnel are sent to the gallows. Feel free to use the Comments section to write your own eulogy for any of the dearly departed.


Brian Billick, Offensive Genius 12/31/2007 11:10am


Randy Mueller, former Seahawk Ballboy 12/31/2007 11:03am EST


Marv Levy, Perennial Bridesmaid 12/31/2007 10:28am EST

Taint Cheering For the Cowboys

I'll admit it. That headline is just a thinly veiled justification for posting this picture. Anyone else smell fish?

Anyhow, the Seahawks are the only NFC contender who still does not know who they'll be lining up against in the playoffs. The suddenly resurgent Redslurs are the odds on favorite to be visiting the Pacific Nortwest, since they control their own destiny, but the Viking and Saints are still breathing on life-support, hoping their HMO doesn't pull the plug this weekend.

So who are you rooting for?

All the Redskins need to do is win and they're in. Some Seahawks faithful want to have the Redskins come back to Qwest field to lay another beat-down on them like we did in 2005, but even the most casual fan knows this year's version is nowhere near as dominant as that team. The Redskins seem to be peaking just at the right moment, and Todd Collins is playing more like a top 10 draft pick than someone who hasn't started in 10 years. Besides, there is that payback thing from 2005 for extra motivation.

Speaking of payback, the Saints are the only potential opponent that we already played this season, and the last time they visited Qwest, the came away with their first win of the season in a 28-17 Bushfest (I mean Reggie, not the graphic above). For the Saints to make a return trip to Seattle, they need to Redskins and Vikings to lose. As much as I'd like the Seahawks to get a chance to avenge their only home field loss, especially since they'll be without their two most potent weapons from that contest, Reggie Bush and Boone Stutz, this would force me to pull for both the Cowboys and the Broncos, which is way too much for any Seahawk fan to bear.

Which leaves us the Vikings. Yes, the Steve Hutchinson poison-pill sleezeballs that also came into Qwest last season and knocked out Hasselbeck for more than a month. Those Vikings. I'd love for them to get a sniff of playoff hope only to have the Seahawks dismantle and destroy their hopes and dreams, and since we've already exacted our revenge against the Bears, rooting for them to knock out the Saints won't turn my stomache too badly.

So I don't care who we play in the first round, because I'm not ascared of either the Redskins, the Vikings or the Saints.

But all that being said, there 'taint no way I'm cheering for the Cowboys.

And The Winners Are...

Congratulations to Frank C and HLD, our two first place finishers in the Commentapalooza, who each won a Seahawks Zero Degree jacket by Reebok. Consolation prizes of a Ravens Zero Degree wool caps go to EagleHawk and CedarIsGreat.

All the comments were great, so the winners were decided by random draw, supervised by my seven and nine year old kids, since the representatives from Price-WaterHouse-Coopers had the day off.

So that everyone is a winner, and nobody leaves without a gift, I offer to you two new Seahawks-themed Christmas Carols, one for the offense and one for the defense.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Five Questions: Baltimore Ravens

This week's guest Enemy Blogger is Rexx from the Baltimore Beat Down, although it's unclear whether the Ravens will be administering or absorbing said Beat Down! As you can see, Rexx has a little more fight in him than our past few guest Enemy Bloggers, as well as the suddenly toothless Ravens. Enjoy his responses and feel free to add your own two-cents via the Smartass Comments.

1. The Seahawks just lost last week to the Carolina Panthers, a 6 win team, four of which came against NFC West opponents. The Ravens are a 4 win team, three of which have come against NFC West opponents. Do you think the Ravens have any chance at completing the sweep at Qwest field on Sunday?

REXX: Not at all. The Ravens are a team with so many issues, both on the field and the sidelines. If we couldn't beat a winless team after leading by 10 at halftime, how in the world could anyone, even a rabid Ravens fan, expect us to beat a division leader in a tough environment?

2. The Ravens have been on a steady decline since Jamal Lewis went to prison for drug dealing and Ray Lewis was key figure in the Super Bowl murders. With your team's need at the position, and his current legal issues, wouldn't Mike Vick be a perfect fit to be the next signal caller for the Purple and Black?

REXX: Puh-lease! Jamal Lewis served his time for what he did BEFORE he was a Raven, and Ray Lewis was an innocent bystander, although he made a poor choice of whom to hang around with. Hopefully, the Ravens will get a better look into their QB future, as the rookie Heisman Trophy winner from THE Ohio State University, Troy Smith, gets his first NFL start. The next two games should determine whether the Ravens QB is on the roster or awaiting them in the Draft.

3. Brian Billick was seen blowing kisses at Rodney Harrison during the heart-breaking loss to New England. What sort of non-verbal message to you think he's got planned for this game, and to which Seahawk player will it be directed?

REXX: Hey, when Harrison stepped out of line and taunted Kyle Boller and the Ravens sideline, even according to the Pats fans I've spoken with, he got what he deserved - a little Billick "love!" He's seemed to lost control of the team, and doesn't have the total respect that a coach needs from his players. He's certainly lost it with the fans and media. However, he signed a four year, $20 million extension last offseason, and with three years and $15 million still on the table, he'll definitely be on the sidelines again in 2008.

4. Speaking of that game, all the pundits were describing it as your "super bowl." Now that it is a few weeks later, and Seattle is pretty far West, is this the closest that most Raven's players will get to a "pro bowl?"

REXX: Four Ravens made the Pro Bowl this year (Ray Lewis, Ed Reed, Terrell Suggs, Jonathon Ogden). How many Seahawks made it? The Ravens went 13-3 last year, what was the Seahawks record last year? Seattle is a decent team and could put a scare into either Dallas or Green Bay if they are overlooked. However, even the Seahawk fans know the only reason you guys make it to the playoffs on a regular basis is that you play in the weakest division in the league and virtually have no competition. Try that in the AFC! Oh that's right, you were in the AFC for a while and NEVER made the playoffs! So there!

5. Ray Lewis, still the aging face of the franchise, is best known for his nickname of "Sugar" while Seattle is best know for its constant and persistent precipitation. Can you remind me what happens to sugar when it gets wet?

REXX: Ray has been in the NFL for over 10 years and no one in Baltimore has ever heard him referred to as "Sugar." (?) However, everyone slows down a little after 10 years in the toughest position in the league. At the same time, even after all the wear and tear on him, there's still not another middle linebacker in the entire NFL that I'd rather have patroling the middle. Tatupu and Peterson are very good defensive players, but neither could carry Ray's jockstrap. His heart, fire and leadership ability make him a first ballot Hall of Famer and in my humble opinion, is the greatest middle linebacker to ever lace them up!

Rolling Stones Cost the Seahawks the Super Bowl

You have to hear it from the lips and strings of DT Craig Terrill.


Stood Up By The Stones

Don't fret about it, Craig. Mick Jagger is an overrated queer who thinks his home is visited by aliens, and even had a UFO dectector installed in his estate. Keith Richards is a walking, singing, freebasing scrotum that one day decided to snort his father's ashes instead of coke.

Yeah, no shit. Those guys are wacked. Just a bunch of hobos with money. And fame. And probably plenty of poon. (Or anus sphincter, in Mick's case.) Regardless, it is the Stones who should be asking for Terril's autograph, not the other way around.

Terrill may be honestly headed in that direction, having just released his first CD, titled "CT", which can be bought for $10 directly from Terrill's MySpace page.

The CD includes 12 songs (all originals) written by Terrill. He's certainly no stranger to music, as he's been playing guitar since the age of 13 and played in the classic rock cover band, "The Strangers", while attending Purdue University. Craig has also performed at the House of Blues in both Chicago and Orlando with The Herding Cats. He also played with Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen's band when they opened for Seal at the Wamu Theater in Seattle. And last season he performed the national anthem prior to the Seahawks' playoff game against the Cowboys last January.

I have to admit, I'm usually a sceptic when it comes to stars crossing over into music, where Miami Vice douchebag Don Johnson owns the title for "Worst. Music. Video. Ever. With Significant Airtime." Hillary Duff and Jennifer Love Hewitt moderately held my interest for three minutes, but I am just as entertained with the TV on mute, and even more by porn. I can actualy listen to Terrill.

What are you waiting for? Go listen to his album. If you've had the privilege of hollering at the opponents at Qwest field, you'll get a charge out of "12th Man Scream."

http://www.myspace.com/CraigTerrill
The Daily Sun: Terrill excels at more than just football

FREE STUFF! (no B.S.)

One of the guiding principles of 12 Seahawks Street, besides crass humor and intermittent postings, is that this would forever be a non-commercial blog. While we've had offers over the years from a variety of different vendors looking to use our blog to scalp tickets or pimp their products, we've always steadfastly refused.

Until now.

While we're not going to start displaying ads on 12 Seahawks Street, we got the proverbial "offer we couldn't refuse" from the marketing department of Reebok, who is trying to get the word out about their new Zero Degree line of products.

What could be so compelling as to force Bloof and Alba to abandon their core values and bow to the pressures of Madison Ave. you ask?

FREE STUFF!

Much to our surprise, a box arrived at both of our undisclosed locations containing one Seahawks jacket (as pictured) and one Ravens knit cap. Being selfless, fan-first blogging altruists, we of course couldn't just keep this gelt for ourselves, instead deciding that we would have to give it away to our faithful readers in some contest form.

Besides, the jackets were too small for us to keep for ourselves!

So here it is. The 12 Seahawks Street Commentapalooza with two Seahawks Jackets (one L one XL) and two Ravens knit caps as the prizes. Use the comments section below as your entry form, according to this set of arbitrary rules:

1. Each entry must contain a well thought out argument as to who will win this Sunday's show-down between the Playoff-bound Seahawks and the Just-lost-to-the-winless-team Ravens. Smack talk is encouraged.

2. Your entry must include your name/screen name. If you do not wish to leave your email address with your comments, you can send a private email to albanyhawker@yahoo.com referencing your name/screen name. This is how we will contact you to let you know if you won. (Email addresses will not be shared with Reebok or any other party, and will not be used for any other purpose.)

3. Your entry (or email) should identify which Seahawks jacket you would want should you win (the L or XL) or if you'd prefer the Ravens hat.

4. The winner will be decided by me and Bloof and all decisions of the judges are final!

I know anything on the internet that seems too good to be true usually is, but this is for real. Feel free to share this link on other Seahawks / Ravens forums and encourage your fellow fans to represent.

Five Questions for an Enemy Blogger: Panthers

Welcome to another installment of the Five Questions series. Those who are familiar with this running bit may notice something awry in this week's edition. For newbees, and Panther fans who may not have figured it out, I'll be more direct. This week there are no aswers.

Granted, I wa a little late floating this idea by a couple of the guys at the PanterCoalition.com site, and I thought they would play along, but as of Sat. evening, there were no responses in my email account.

Not sure if they're busy in the ladies room at their local tavern watching the TopCats practicing their new routine, but I hate to see these five gems go to waste. So, I'm going to open it up to the full membership at PantherCoalition, and welcome my faithful readers to share this link on other sites, so we can get these important and probing questions answered.

Answer one or answer them all, just remember to include the Question number in your comments, so we know which one you are responding to.

I'll select some of the best responses and paste them under the questions below.

And if any Panter Fan wants to send me a set of similar Five Questions regarding the Seahawks, I'll be more than happy to provide you responses for your site/blog.

1. This is the season where wide-eyed youngsters put their faith in a fat old man to bring them gifts and joy. Is that how it feels being a Panther fan watching Vinny Testaverde line up under center?

2. The Carolina QBs have combined to throw 15 interceptions so far. Last week, Marcus Trufant got three against Arizona, and the week before Lofa Tatupu got three against Philadelphia. Since the Panther offense seems to agree that it's much better to give than to receive, how many INTs do you think they'll serve up this weekend?

3. Speaking of Lofa Tatupu, do you think the ringing in Nick Going's ears has stopped yet from the hit he absorbed in the 2005 NFC Championship game?

4. Former Seahawk Ken 'a brotha get paid' Lucas has been somewhat of a disappointment since his big free agent signing in 2004. How many passes do you think he gives up on Sunday to our backup QB/partime WR?

5. The Panthers have also give up 27 sacks in just 13 games. What do you think they need to do to stop the NFL Sack Leader, Patrick Kerney, who last Sunday, spent more time in the Cardinal backfield than Edgerrin James?

That just happened

I'm way late on this, but considering the post below mine is more or less a game preview...well...

SEATTLE SEAHAWKS: NFC WEST CHAMPIONS.....AGAIN.

I don't care if the NFC West has been the kid's table of the NFL the past few seasons. At the table, we are the twelve year old and this is our goddamned turkey leg. You (and I'm looking at you Torri, Alex, and Kurt) cannot have it. You can have the white meat, for its all you can handle.

I'm sure some fan from another team will come in here and blast Seahawk fans for being arrogant. Don't care. I'm doing what I call "enjoying the ride". Those of us that were fans of the club its inception (or, for me at least, since the mid 80s) I think each one of these division titles means a bit more. Remember when Rick Mier was the answer at quarterback? Yeah, it was THAT bad. So, sorry for being "arrogant". Even after four years, we're still kind of new to this whole winning division title things.

Who knows what this playoff season will hold, but the important thing is that the Seahawks are involved. Let's do this thing.

Five Questions for an Enemy Blogger: Cardinals

Whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas or Kwanza, everyone can agree that this is the season for gift giving, like the victory we handed the Cardinals in Week Two.

What I've noticed over the years though, is that the gifts I buy for other people are usually the things I would want myself, thus explaining the cordless drill I gave my wife on our anniversary (as well as the 3/8th diameter scar on my left thigh).

My point is, when I read the finely crafted Five Questions that AOL Cardinals Blogger Dan Benton sent to me, I thought it was very generous of me to paraphrase them and give them right back to him, which might explain any similarities between his blog piece and the item below.

1) I don't really want to start this with a question ... just a statement. THREE in a row! Mmm, yeah. Let that sink in.

DB: Three wins over the Seahawks in a row would be pretty sweet, let me tell you. luckily for you, you won't have to hear from me again until these two teams meet in the playoffs. At which point, I can only assume you'll stop returning my e-mails.

2) Do these games make you sweat any more? They used to be difficult on an Arizona heart, but with winning the past two games against the Seahawks, and beating teams the Seahawks lost to, like the Steelers and Browns, you're probably pretty confident about Sunday, right?

DB: Some teams play with talent, others with heart. And while the injuries concern me, the Cardinals aren't giving up. There have been plenty of times this season where they could have packed it in, but instead they opted to battle back and keep themselves in this thing.

Now, with their fate in their own hands, I have 100% faith that Arizona will return to the playoffs for the first time since ... well... yeah.

3) Looking ahead to Sunday, what concerns you about Seattle? And don't say everything!

DB: Don't say everything? No problem, because my answer would have been nothing.

The Seahawks have not been impressive this year and Shaun Alexander looks like he's running on empty. Not to mention, the team has really had their hands full in the last few weeks, barely beating the Bears, Eagles and Rams; all of whom are far worse than the Cardinals.

But if I had to pick any one thing, it'd be the crowd. Then again, who doesn't get worried by an extremely large gang of stumbling drunks? The only thing worse is Eagles fans.

4) Here's one I haven't asked you before. If you could pick another player off the Seahawks and add them to the Cardinal roster, who would it be and why?

DB: It would be Shaun Alexander because the Cardinals need a quality third string running back. J.J. Arrington hasn't been what Arizona hopes for, so Shaun would settle in nicely behind Edgerrin James and Marcel Shipp.

Actually, we could take Matt Hasselbeck as well. With Matt Leinart already down with injury and Kurt Warner always on the brink of being hurt, a clipboard carrying third-stringer could be very useful.

5) Prediction time! How bad will it taste when the Seahawks beat Cardinals and wrap up their fourth consecutive NFC West title?

DB: Well, if the Seahawks do find some way to pull this out -- which I don't think they will -- I'll be OK with it. That would just give the Cardinals more motivation to go into Seattle and knock the Seahawks out of the playoffs.

That said, the Cardinals will probably win this game, end up winning the division and knock the Seahawks out of the playoffs anyway.

Yeah ... that sounds much better. As for a score? I'll say ... Cardinals 24 - Seahawks 21 in overtime.

Don't forget to check out Dan's Five Questions post on AOL Fanhouse, and to leave your feedback in the comments section on each site.

The Mystery That Is Brian Billick Blowing Kisses

Hoo-boy! What a game. Rife with sub-plots of the quest for perfection, conspiracy theory and referee incompetence, this was a Monday night game for the ages. Bloggers and news-monkeys are babbling everywhere about these topics, completely ignoring what I think is the most compelling drama of the contest.

What the hell did Rodney Harrison say to Brian Billick? What made BB suddenly mouth sultry, sexy air-kisses, not once, but three times in succession?

Hmm. There are a few possibilities.

Congenial:

RH: Hi, Brian. How are you today?

BB: [Kiss, kiss, kiss.]

Amorous:

RH: Dammit, Brian. I miss you. I miss you real bad, like a ho misses crack. Can I have you tonight?

BB: [Kiss, kiss, kiss.]

Humorous:

RH: Hey, Brian, what do you think of Rosie O'Donnell?

BB: [Kiss, kiss, kiss.]

Vile:

RH: Brian, I was wondering... How did you feel when you first saw 2girls1cup.com?

BB: [Kiss, kiss, kiss.]

Homozygous:

RH: Brian! Pretend I'm your sister!

BB: [Kiss, kiss, kiss.]

NFL-kakke:

RH: Brian, it's raining semen. What do you do?

BB: [Kiss, gulp, kiss.]

An hour ago, this was all funny in my head. Think you can do better? Let's hear it.

What I Learned From: Sitting in warm, dry living room watching the game while Philly fans languish in misery

Last week, I really figured we lose this one. The 10am kickoff, the lousy pass protection the week before, the fact that two blowouts may spell a letdown, not to mention Shaun Alexander bringing his miserable YPC back to the team -- it had my nutsack in a bunch, to say the least.

But what did I learn?

• 1/2 Morris + 1/2 Alexander = One competent running back.


• The opening drive showed some real creativity in an effort to keep Philly off balance. In the red zone, we saw a triple-tight end power formation, but a play-action pass attempt to (gasp) Tom Ashworth. After that, we saw a pass formation, but it was a run to the left by Alexander. Woooo, tricky stuff there, Mike.


• I don't know how much to hate on RG Chris Gray. He gets physically overwhelmed several times per game, and makes me yell at the TV. But then he goes and TOTALLY REDEEMS HIMSELF when fills in perfectly for a nicked C Chris Spencer. I almost wonder if they shouldn't switch positions, since Gray calls the blocking assignments anyway. Which makes me wonder -- Is Spencer retarded? Guards shouldn't need to make those calls.


• 'Pork Chop' Womack filled in well for Walter Jones, and later on, Chris Gray when Spencer went out--and his effectiveness also nearly baffled me. But then I thought about the sloppy conditions, and realized that this was a perfect game for him. Quickness was absolutely not necessary. But if this were played in a dome, this Pork would have been smoked.


• Mo Morris' TD run was cool. Not just for the last juke that sealed the points, but the blocking was great. Big Walt was the anchor, Pollard made a great seal on the end, But Leonard Weaver took a linebacker and a defensive end in one diving assault.


• Should Engram be considered for the Ring of Honor? We already have a lot of candidates on this team -- Hasselbeck, Alexander, Strong, Jones, and if he keeps it up, Tatupu. But what about Bobby? I would hate to see him overlooked. I love that guy. Without him, this season is in the toilet. Without him, a several previous seasons are in the sewer.


• Lofa Tatupu is a freak. You saw the highlight reel. Smartest defensive player I've ever seen. It's uncanny. If we took his brain and heart and planted it in, say, LaVar Arrington's body, offenses as we know it would cease to exist. At least until Roger Goodell made it illegal to be LaVar Tatupu.


• Rocky Bernard is a baller. He just doesn't get enough credit for all the havoc he wreaketh. It was good to see him get a little credit on the goal line stand.


• Speaking of goal line stands-- this defense is damn good at them. They make good reads (thanks again, Lofa) and play it right. I have a feeling this is going to come in handy in five weeks or so.

That's all I got for now. I need to take a shit. Discuss.