Alan's Gambling Guide: Week 4

No Seahawks this week, but still plenty of football to watch...and thus bet on. So, here's my picks for the week, and I'll even throw in some pseudo-porn, because Bloof requested it.

Last week, I was 11-5 against the spread, running my record to 29-18 and my wish that I was actually putting money on these games at: High. Seriously, fuck. These are hard economic times and I can't afford to let my gambling be not real.

On to these week's games...as always, Home teams are in CAPS, and the line is taken from the Las Vegas Hilton, from covers.com

CAROLINA (-7) over Atlanta

Matt Ryan, when exposed to our Sun, turns into a mere mortal. The dome will not protect him.

Denver (-9.5) over KANSAS CITY

I thought about this one, but Denver's offense is going to blow the Chiefs out of the water late, though expect some nervous gamblers through three quarters.

NEW ORLEANS (-4.5) over San Francisco

The 49ers may be the surprise of the NFC West (well, did YOU have them starting 2-1?) but I'm not sold on their defense stopping Drew Breese.

Arizona (+1) over NEW YORK JETS

Brett Favre does not grasp the Jets offense...not even close. The jets defense can't seem to grasp the Jets defense. A tough game, but could be a big bounce back win for the Redbirds.

Minnesota (+3) over TENNESSEE

Its the "Back-up QB is our Savior Bowl"! If this game goes into OT, I want to see a special shootout style OT, where Travaris Jackson and Vince Young try to hit wide open receivers. First one within 5 yards of the target wins!

Green Bay (+1) over TAMPA BAY

I know the Packers didn't look good on Sunday night, but they are still much better than the Bucs. Fantasy football note: My soul died a little when I picked up Jerramy Stevens as tight end this week. Can rape be a scoring stat? It can? I WIN!

JACKSONVILLE (-7) over Houston

I actually drafted Matt Shaub as my backup QB thinking "he will have a decent year, and someone will want to trade for him later on..." 

My bad.

Cleveland (+3.5) over CINCINNATI 

I can't see one team getting to far ahead of the other in this one. It could end in a 0-0 tie. This game is going to suck...pseudo-porn time:

Fun fact: This image comes up during a Google Search of "Pseudo-porn"

San Diego (-7.5) over OAKLAND

If Raiders D-lineman shoved as hard as their staff guy shoved a beat reporter, they might get a pass rush...they just might.

Buffalo (-8) over ST. LOUIS

I work at a radio station that airs "The Scott Linehan Show". Upon listening to it, Scott Linehan should not be allowed near the following things:

~Ropes

~Large bottles of Asprin

~Drain-O

~Rust potato peelers

~Buckets of water

~A coaching headset

Dallas (-11) over WASHINGTON

Eleven points on the road is a lot, but then again Dallas had little problems with it last week against a much tougher opponent.

Philadelphia (-3) over CHICAGO

The Eagles are going to be dangerous this season.

Baltimore (+5.5) over PITTSBURGH

I think this one could be close, plus Big Ben was just sacked by the Eagles again, so...he's got that to work through.

Enjoy the games, and happy betting!