Okay, we tend to squawk about "East Coast Media Bias." And we throw around terms like "no respect" often enough to make Rodney Dangerfield call it tired. As these catch phrases approach cliche-dom at 12SS, I will merely suggest that Pete Prisco's most recent rankings are merely idiocy. Witness:8. Seattle Seahawks
They've made some nice additions on defense and the draft brought a solid cover corner in Kelly Jennings to replace Andre Dyson. But losing Steve Hutchinson is not something they can get over easily.
Ah, yes. We have dramatically improved on defense. However, the loss of an interior lineman should erase any hopes of a Super Bowl. Sorry fellas.
Were this not the off-season (O, for such a thing!), this certainly wouldn't be worthy of its own post. As this is not the case, I open the comments section for your best guesses as to Mr. Prisco's education and breeding.
p.s. The Dolphins are ranked ahead of the 'Hawks. Yes, really.
(to comment, click the green number to the right of the title above)
2 parts water, 1 part vinegar.
ReplyDeleteThis is why i laugh at those who feel we are respected enough.
ReplyDeleteSome fellow fans even go off to say 'we were in the Super Bowl...we'll be respected alot now'...uhh not one of us Seahawk fans has experienced a Super Bowl, so noone really knows...when you dont know, you go by track record...and this is proof that the Super Bowl did very minimal in that regards, with the most glaring exception being Hass finally turning into a national superstar. We made the Super Bowl, and still got bashed--and thats BEFORE we were screwed and the media chose to ignore it...since they prolly take it as a legit loss, we're prolly getting even less respect. Again, not much of an issue in terms of recognition...but in terms of ludicrous lack of knowledge and uncalled for defimation.
Disrespected until proven otherwise. The best team in football (both last year and probably even this coming season...at least on paper) shouldn't get treated like a 3-13 team...noone can deny that)
Im rambling, so ill stop. Im also ticked with the Mariners right now...Oakland an anemic offensive club scores runs off a grand slam while we get a run from a double play...will life ever let up on Seattle?
I have come to a happy place with regards to the respect, or lack there of, that is given to the 'Hawks.
ReplyDeleteThese assholes that think they didn't get better couldn't tell their asshole from their elbow. These are the same people, who in week 12, when the 'Hawks are have a rediculous record, like 10-1 or something, will say "best team in the NFC last year, best team in the NFC this year" and completely disregard what they actually thought at the beginning of the season.
Fuck 'em. You know the 'Hawks. You know the 'Hawks are good. You know the 'Hawks got better this offseason. And you KNOW these improved 'Hawks are also going to have one big F'ing chip on their shoulder and will come out with something to prove all over again next year.
It's really not about "respect", as you have to first "acknowledge" that someone exists, before you can respect or disrespect them!
ReplyDeleteThey all see Seattle as the bratty little sister who was constantly hanging around with the hot chicks. Even though she's grown up and starting to look good, she's still the bratty little sister, so you don't pay her any attention.
One its own, his assessment of the Seahawks is not that bad. He did enough homework to know the name of our first round draft choice, and was lucky enough that we lost a free agent to a New York team, so he was able to come up with the fact that Andre Dyson's now a Jet. Thanks to the poison pill debacle, he's even aware we lost a pro bowl O Lineman. Nice work for an east coast guy. Really.
Now, here's where he loses ALL CREDIBILITY:
1. Not only ranking Pittsburgh ahead of us, but Ranking them #1 with comments like "Does this team have any holes?" "Ben Roethlisberger is still getting better" and "They are the team to beat."
Yes, they'll miss inspirational leader Jerome Bettis, Yes Big Ben is still getting better, BECAUSE HE'S NOT THAT GOOD NOW, and NO, they are not the team to beat.
He might as well have ranked Bill Leavy's crew #1, since it was really THEM who defeated the Seahawks, which bested Pittsburgh in every statisical category in the SB. Not to mention the Stealers A) lucked out in Cincy that Palmer gets injured on the first play of the game, B) lucked out in Indy when Doofus Knifewound cuts into the middle of the field instead of to the sidelines (and then the drunken idiot kicker misses the FG) and C) lucked out in Denver where Jake the Snake exposed himself as really Jake the Fake!
(but I'm not bitter)
2. Colt's Number TWO? Does Peyton Manning's sweat also cure cancer? The last time a Tony Dungy coached team won a big game is the last time I had a Jessica Threesome with Alba, Simpson and Tandy!
3. The PATRIOTS? You gotta be freaking kidding me! We're #8 because we can't overcome the loss of Steve Hutchinson, but the Pats are #3 with this comment "The Patriots have lost a ton of players and haven't added that many...they had a great draft. Don't worry about this team. They'll be there again." IDIOT!
4. Panthers. Adding Keyshawn will take some pressure and double teams off Steve Smith, so this is probably a good ranking for them, but let's not forget how we MAN HANDLED them in the NFC Championship game, so no way should they be ranked ahead of us.
5. The Jaguars? Not even worth the keystrokes to point out how ridiculous this pick is.
6. The Dolphins. Gimpy Culpepper, Flinchy Harrington and Felony Vick. No QB controversy brewing in Miami, that's for sure!
7. The Donkos. Nothing gives your QB who single handedly threw away a home playoff game more confidence going into a season than drafting his successor and adding a free agent crybaby! Yea, the Donkos will be going far after Jake throws a few INTs and Walker starts popping off about it and Cutler starts warming up on the sidelines.
8. The Seattle Seahawks. Eight! As in Magic 8-ball who says "All signs point to Miami!" Let's see, we get jobbed in the Superbowl, have the longest list of free agents, retain most of them, and our coach, add a new FO guy, Julian Peterson, Tom Ashworth, Nate Burleson, and quality draft choices at need positions, have no real threat in our division, yet we're ranked number 8, which would barely get us into the playoffs.
I guess you just can't argue with an intelligent opinion that's based on irrefutable visual evidence, such as the Superbowl Runner Up Jinx, the Madden Curse and the Chucky Soup Hex!
And that's as far as I'm going, because as they say in Italian Racing, "what's behind you no longer matters!"
(my deepest appreciation to anyone who has read this entire rant)
P.S. gotta give TC props for his recipe Comment at this top of this section...you all **DO** know what those ingredients make don't you?
ReplyDeleteStain remover? Help me out, alba.
ReplyDeleteHere's a little help from Wikipedia
ReplyDeleteWow, so many gems in this thread!
ReplyDelete• Water + vinegar = douche? How the heck did you know that, alba and TC Senn?
• Water + vinegar does indeed make a handy stain remover.
• "The last time a Tony Dungy coached team won a big game is the last time I had a Jessica Threesome with Alba, Simpson and Tandy!" Let me tell you; though she shares a name with a defunct computer manufacturer, the latter Jessica's software is still up-to-date and her peripherals are well-maintained, (though her ports are a bit worn out, and are not backwards-compatible...) The only reason that quote didn't make the Bucket is because said "threesome" would more accurately be termed a "foursome."
• I am not too surprised at Prisco's ranking of the Hawks. If you'll notice, they're ranked second-best in the NFC, and Carolina's offseason acquisitions were more high-profile. Smith & Keyshawn is quite an imposing tandem at WR--now teams (like the Seahawks) can't focus on shutting down Smith and get away with it. Also, with a real running back there's no way the Hawks would have blown them out like they did. Carolina's defensive line is the (perhaps second-)best in the league, so I can see why they'd be ranked ahead of the Hawks in this poll. However, #8 for the defending NFC champs--without losing any major-position players--is kinda weak. However, I'm not pissed, because, hey--it's only a game (and it's the FREAKING OFFSEASON!) I'm with Check on this one.
Har. It's funny to see someone get fired up over a PR. You have to be a complete head-over-heels fan to go there. And seeing "Doofus Knifewound" in this context makes it completely worth the read.
ReplyDeleteCitK - grew up with a mother, 2 sisters and an effeminate brother...I know a little too much about hygene products!!!
ReplyDeleteHad I said "the last time I had a threesome with Alba, Simpson and Tandy" that would indeed be a generic foursome. However, I was coining a new term "Jessica Threesome", in which one enters into carnal endeavors with three women sharing the same first name.
I agree. Power Ranking are generally for guys ill equipped to measure up in the cell phone, iPOD or weenie department. However, this IS the off season and we WERE ranked 8th BEHIND the likes of the Dolphins, Doncos and Pats, so I think the rant was warranted.
(and yes, I know I used the word "we" with respect to the Seahawks!)
Thanks for noticing "Doofus Knifewound" too Bloof, ALAS, I was hoping one of those gems would be quote bucket worthy.
Yeah, I don't get too fired up about Power Rankings, either, but I wanted to generate some discussion... then Meeze and Ghost post two subjects just hours after I do.
ReplyDeleteEh. At least there's a sweet picture with the post.
Yup -- it is the offseason, and offseason PRs seem to be based entirely on three elements: 1) The big-name-ness of a team's offseason acquisitions--(however old/washed-up/injured/young/unproven they may truly be); 2) A team's "sexiness" (I.E. New England and Miami); 3) Coast-specific biases.
ReplyDeleteHell, any PR has its faults. That's why there's no reason to get too worked up about them (a bit of work-up-edness is, of course, to be expected if one has been following the team since its inception.) What can be truly enraging, however, are the comments the Ranker includes with their (apparently random) picks. Peter King and Aaron Schatz are usually the worst (best?) as far as squirting out meaningless streams of diarrhea in this regard. Prisco seems to be attempting to join the defecation party with some of his blather in this article.
Prisco makes me have to poop like I was lubed with Crisco!
ReplyDeleteI'm willing to bet him $2 million that the Hawks end up better than #8. And I don't even like the Hawks, I'm from Joisey. But there is no question at all that they were the best team last year and will be even better this year. Who's going to stop them? The same teams they creamed last year, before improving their defense? The Super Friends? The Panthers, because they now have 3 good players instead of just one? Umm, I don't think so.
ReplyDeletePrisco is an idiot and I want his job. I might be wrong sometimes, but at least I won't be so wrong it makes my whole profession look stupid.
I never get tired of outside fans saying we were in fact the best team last year, including the Super Bought...it keeps me in mind that im not crazy as to what i saw on February 5th.
ReplyDeleteRidiculous, I can't believe were at #8. Oh well, I guess were gonna have to kick everyones asses again to get some respect.
ReplyDelete