What I Learned From: Sitting in warm, dry living room watching the game while Philly fans languish in misery

Last week, I really figured we lose this one. The 10am kickoff, the lousy pass protection the week before, the fact that two blowouts may spell a letdown, not to mention Shaun Alexander bringing his miserable YPC back to the team -- it had my nutsack in a bunch, to say the least.

But what did I learn?

• 1/2 Morris + 1/2 Alexander = One competent running back.


• The opening drive showed some real creativity in an effort to keep Philly off balance. In the red zone, we saw a triple-tight end power formation, but a play-action pass attempt to (gasp) Tom Ashworth. After that, we saw a pass formation, but it was a run to the left by Alexander. Woooo, tricky stuff there, Mike.


• I don't know how much to hate on RG Chris Gray. He gets physically overwhelmed several times per game, and makes me yell at the TV. But then he goes and TOTALLY REDEEMS HIMSELF when fills in perfectly for a nicked C Chris Spencer. I almost wonder if they shouldn't switch positions, since Gray calls the blocking assignments anyway. Which makes me wonder -- Is Spencer retarded? Guards shouldn't need to make those calls.


• 'Pork Chop' Womack filled in well for Walter Jones, and later on, Chris Gray when Spencer went out--and his effectiveness also nearly baffled me. But then I thought about the sloppy conditions, and realized that this was a perfect game for him. Quickness was absolutely not necessary. But if this were played in a dome, this Pork would have been smoked.


• Mo Morris' TD run was cool. Not just for the last juke that sealed the points, but the blocking was great. Big Walt was the anchor, Pollard made a great seal on the end, But Leonard Weaver took a linebacker and a defensive end in one diving assault.


• Should Engram be considered for the Ring of Honor? We already have a lot of candidates on this team -- Hasselbeck, Alexander, Strong, Jones, and if he keeps it up, Tatupu. But what about Bobby? I would hate to see him overlooked. I love that guy. Without him, this season is in the toilet. Without him, a several previous seasons are in the sewer.


• Lofa Tatupu is a freak. You saw the highlight reel. Smartest defensive player I've ever seen. It's uncanny. If we took his brain and heart and planted it in, say, LaVar Arrington's body, offenses as we know it would cease to exist. At least until Roger Goodell made it illegal to be LaVar Tatupu.


• Rocky Bernard is a baller. He just doesn't get enough credit for all the havoc he wreaketh. It was good to see him get a little credit on the goal line stand.


• Speaking of goal line stands-- this defense is damn good at them. They make good reads (thanks again, Lofa) and play it right. I have a feeling this is going to come in handy in five weeks or so.

That's all I got for now. I need to take a shit. Discuss.

Seahawks vs Rams: I Laughed, I Cried

To borrow a sissified expletive from Mike Holmgren: My goodness. What a bizzarre game. Sloppy play and miscues kept Seattle running erratically like a nitrous-injected Yogo with sugar in the tank. Injuries and ineptitude kept St. Louis from sustaining anything outside of the errant gifts Seattle gave them, like a hobo winning a grand prize drawing for a Cadillac and immediately crashing it it into a highway divider.

At least the game was entertaining. How so?

Things that made me laugh.

• Lofa Tatupu tackling Steven Jackson by the hair. That never gets old.
• After Jackson's 53 yard touchdown romp, he awkwardly jumped up to perform the St. Loser version of the 'Lambeau Leap'. Since there was a high railing, he had to jump, grab and climb like he didn't belong in Shawshank. So a crowd mobbed him with love, right? Wrong. Let's just say there is one very happy dude in St. Loser that will have memories of Steven Jackson patty-cake coitus for the rest of his life.
• A concussed Mark Bulger trying to force a shovel pass into a pile of linemen. Yes, I would say he is impaired at that point.
• Gus Frerotte's face.

Things that made me say 'what the fuck?'

• The rediculous blitzes coming after Hasselbeck, and the lack of running play calls to keep it honest. Really. If Holmie doesn't start calling more run plays, he'll be calling in a stretcher for Hass.
• Claude Wroten grabbing Rob Sims' helmet by the face mask and throwing it 25 yards downfield -- without a penalty.
• Rob Sims' cavalcade of missed assignments.
• Nate Burelson's mishandling of near everything.
• Josh Brown kicking like he's still full of turkey.

Things that made me cheer.

• Seattle's defense continuing to make plays despite how the offense hung them out to dry for 35+ minutes.
• Josh Wilson killing that kickoff return. Actually, I love the blocking on that play even more.
• Leonard Weaver moving a pile for 4 yards. You know Holmgren will be calling that again soon. It's one of Mack Strong's old staples, but I don't recall Weaver getting the call. Hopefully we'll see more dives like this in his future.
• Mo Morris breaking a big run. How long has it been since we've seen something like that? How long is my dick?

Thanks for reading. Good luck with the post-turkey-day-work-blues.