I Can Haz New Contract?

According to Adam Schefter (with a hat tip to PFT) The Seahawks have offered a 3-year contract extension to Seneca Wallace.

Special thanks to lolhawks enthusiast and frequent SeahawkBlue contributor, J.L. White, for this picture and caption.

Adam Schefter of NFL Network reports that the Seattle Seahawks have signed backup quarterback Seneca Wallace to a three-year, $5.4 million contract.

The contract increases his 2007 salary from $800,000 to $2 million. Also, Wallace is due to receive a $400,000 roster bonus in March. If the team chooses not to pay it, Wallace will be an unrestricted free agent.

PFT goes on to say they disagree with this move, since they think Seneca left a lot of money on the table.

Personally, I believe this is only the first shoe to fall from Seahawks headquarters. I'm guessing that 3rd stringer David Greene will be released after his dismal performance on Saturday, and that the Seahawks will soon be announcing the acquisition of a veteran QB from some other team, freeing up Mr. Wallace to use his mad skillz elsewhere on the playing surface, either as a slash-type QB/WR, or returning punts and kicks.

Whatever the case, the Seahawk faithful can now breathe a collective sign of relief, knowing how well Seneca filled in while Matt Hasselbeck was rehabbing last season.

Just Pay Off the Officials, Jim!

As much as it pains me to have Jerome "Lombardi Stealing" Bettis on this site, I think the NFL and PGA missed a golden opportunity to come clean about Super Bowl XL and make what would have been a lock for an Emmy winning commercial.

All they needed to do was to end this over-done "you're skinny and I'm fat" bit with one honest throw away line, and this would become a 30-second instant classic.

I wish Bettis had turned to Furyk in the end and just said, "Aww fuck it Jim, don't worry about what you eat, just make sure the final match is scheduled in your hometown, then pay off an official or two like I did!"


Special Thanks to You Been Blinded where I found this clip.

The Casing makes the Sausage More Appetizing

OK, this post has nothing to do with the NFL or the Seattle Seahawks, but as you can tell by the content here, most of our readers are men, and we're all pigs, so boar with me.

According to this article on MSNBC.com, the latest ad campaign for Trojan Condoms has right-wingers up in arms, as it has less to do with avoiding terrible diseases, and more to do with not wanting to end up with something equally as terminal: and unwanted pregnancy.

I'll skip the opportunity to waive my lefist liberal flag and hop on the soapbox about the religious conservatives burying their heads in the sand regarding the sexual culture in today's society.

Let's just say if this ad was around in the 70s, teaching hotties that a fresh Trojan makes an otherwise sloppy pig-boy more attractive, I wouldn't have had to spend so much time locked in the bathroom with the latest National Geographic.

Anyhow, click the icon above and enjoy the ad...it features some good looking woman and one lucky dweeb who's gonna get laid.

What Would You Trade For Daunte Culpepper?

The word is out: Daunte Culpepper is on the trading block. The amusing part of the situation is that he's one of the most overrated veteran quarterbacks the league has ever seen.

Which begs the question: What is Daunte Culpepper worth? In my own amateur estimation, not much. He makes poor reads, poor decisions, and poor margaritas. (Why do you think Stevens went to Tampa instead?)

So, to confirm my specualtion, we're going to play a little game called "What Would You Trade For Daunte?" The scenario is that you are the GM of a National Football League Team. You get called by the Miami Dolphins front office and they ask what you would be willing to give up for Culpepper. What is your answer?

You get to pick the team, and the terms are wide open. Have fun with it. Here are some examples:

• Detroit Lions: Matt Millen, a large body of water, and a pair of concrete shoes
• Green Bay Packers: Brett Favre, a lawn mower, and Mike Holmgren's cell phone number
• Atlanta Falcons: Mike Vick, a box of Club Squared Ungummed, and a copy of Pit Bulls for Dummies
• St. Louis Rams: 40 tons of Purina Dog Chow and at least as much Budweiser
• Seattle Seahawks: 4,723 unsold Jerramy Stevens jerseys, signed copy of Shaun Alexander's book, and a Starbucks gift card

I think you get the picture. Your turn.