Friday, December 05, 2008

Flex this


The apperant Seahawks offense line gets ready to go to the scales...fuck, am I ever bitter about how this season has gone.


So, the Seahawks-Pats game has been "flexed out" by the NFL. Apparently, the league is sensitive to the mental state of your typical Seattle fan, and is sparing us from having to watch this team get slaughtered in prime time by Matt Cassell and his Band of Bastards that are still going to win the AFC East. Jesus, why can't our injury problems result in division titles? New England looses a pro bowler...magically they get a 3-time Super Bowl winning quarterback. he goes down...then Matt Cassell does this.

As much as the Seahawks frustrate me, I was looking forward to watching them since it feels weird when you want to drink because of the NFL.com Gamecast. Sure, Hass just got sacked...again. But what if its a coverage sack? No need to grab the bourbon bottle in that case. Or did the left side of the line starting dreaming about buckets of fried chicken and let Matt get decked? Well then, I need to go make my favorite cocktail. Its 1 part alcohol, 1 part more alcohol, and 4 parts more alcohol. Serve on ice, and hide cell phone. Its delicious!

Anyway, I was thinking about how if the NFL can flex out things that it doesn't want to see, why can't I?

Employee evaluations are probably coming up, since I've been working at my current job for almost a year. I'd like to flex this out, because I don't want the frustrating experience f getting a year's worth of feedback in ten minutes. I'd like to exchange this experience in favor of going to a carwash being conducted by bikini-clad wimmens.


Oh noes! What if K-Rob drops that sponge!



Hey, this flex thing is fun. Let's keep this going. I have to do some Holiday shopping, but the parking lot is just so crowded. How can I opt out of this? Um...another bikini car wash? That could work...but what about I get Santa's Big Chested Helper to do my shopping instead.


Hey, why are you looking up Mora to Huskies rumors! Get on Amazon...now!


This is going pretty good. But, don't get to spendy there, Santa's Big Chested Helper. I'm not exactly rich. Let's flex out my financial situation....
That'll do...um...Cindey? That seems like a good name for you!


So, instead of going to employee evaluations I went to a bikini car wash, had some sexy lady do my holiday shopping with money my stripper friend brings home. I could get used to this flexing thing.

Enjoy the game and its not starting at late at night!

Alan

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