Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Boldin's Bailout: A backstory

For those who don't know...

Boldin wants trade

Sure, sure, Boldin SAYS he doesn't talk to head coach Ken Whisenhunt and says he's not treated fairly. But...I beg to differ.

The night before...

SCENE: Boldin's mansion that he affords with his unfair 4 million a year.

Boldin: I have a feeling that we're going to do good things this season. I, and every NFL pundit for the past ten years, think this is the year that we make the playoffs.

Boldin: I don't know anyone from the 206 area code...oh well.

(Picks up phone) Yo, who is this?

Marcus Trufant: Oh, you remember me...

Boldin: Wait...those footsteps, that closing're, you're....M-m-m-marcus

Trufant: The one and only. I was just calling to see if you were ready for two games of absolute punishment this year?

Boldin: More than ready...I got a good feeling?

Trufant: Is that douchenozzle still your staring QB?

(fun fact: googiling Matt Leinart Drunk yields 77,200 results and 5,670 images)

Boldin: hey an, Matt's had his adventures this offseason, but he's focused.

Trufant: Yeah right, in the same town as Arizona State...Leinart will be focused on football. What do you do after week 3?

(awkward pause)

Boldin: Hey man, why you doing this?

Trufant: Just giving you a heads up, wanting you to know we're coming for ya.

Boldin: You do this with all your opponents?

Trufant: Yeah man, you should have heard the talk Lofa was giving Stephen Jackson the other night. He went to training camp so when he gets smacked around in week 3 it doesn't hurt too bad.

Boldin: Well, I'm at camp. What should I do?

Trufant: I hear Miami's nice..maybe go to Tennessee, play with Vince.

Boldin: I'll talk to coach about it...

Trufant: No, you don't TALK to coach at all. Use it as leverage.

Boldin: Oh...o...ok.

(Phone line goes dead)

Paul Harvey: And now you know...the rest of the story.

1 comment:

  1. How cool would it be to learn that Truf really hounds people like this off the field too!