Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Ale Musings: The Exposition of Pork Chop

This time of year, there are many little joys in life. The mornings are usually a little crisp, making a well-brewed cup of arabica worth savoring. The leaves are just beginning to turn color. Football is on! It's also the month of our wedding anniversary, which means my odds of receiving fellatio increases significantly.

It's also the time of year I stop drinking mass-market beer; during the summer I drink the occasional Corona after mowing the lawn, or take a nice hot shower while pounding a bud. (And by bud, I mean beer -- not a male companion.)(Asshole.)

Once summer is over, I begin to lean more toward craft beer. Not sure why, but I think it has something to do with the concept that different beers taste better in different seasons. In any case, I have begun my autumn tradition.

Today's musings are under the influence of Boddingtons Pub Ale, 1 pint nitro can.

I'm 3/4 of the way through my second glass. The nitrogen bubbles flow downwards! Neat! What will those crazy Euros think of next?

Womack, Willis and Locklear

Ray Willis has performed admirably in the absence of Sean Locklear. Not only did he block well enough to inspire questions about the depth chart, I find that there is something intrinsically frightening about the man. He's the last person on the squad I would want to meet in a dark alley. Dudes with arms and legs that long just shouldn't be that freaking strong. He reminds me of Wilt Chamberlains' character Bombaata in Conan the Destroyer, pictured above.

The pairing on the right side of the offensive line of Womack and Willis was an interesting one. Both are a little slow footed, but the complement each other well. Willis is a force, pwning anything he can get his mighty oaken arms on. Womack is a giant sandbag with legs, engulfing defensive players with sheer mass.

Together, they are a mighty grappling duo. Apart, I question how well they will function.

My theory is that part of the reason Womack has finally found success at the RG position is that Willis is just slow enough to not create too much space in the gap between them, thus keeping Womack's area in the zone blocking scheme small and manageable.

Which makes me wonder - with the more athletic Locklear returning - and facing the speedy Justin Tuck - will Pork Chop be able to handle the larger gap created by a circuitous edge rush? I have my doubts. I hope I'm wrong.

If I'm right, I may just act like Arnold here:

I'm all out of beer, and my wonderful vibe is waning. God bless.


  1. Wow, just a few sober hours later I realize how incredibly lame this post is.

    I know I should have gone Ichiro.

  2. Was this a spoof on Peter King or something?