Thursday, September 25, 2008

Alan's Gambling Guide: Week 4

No Seahawks this week, but still plenty of football to watch...and thus bet on. So, here's my picks for the week, and I'll even throw in some pseudo-porn, because Bloof requested it.

Last week, I was 11-5 against the spread, running my record to 29-18 and my wish that I was actually putting money on these games at: High. Seriously, fuck. These are hard economic times and I can't afford to let my gambling be not real.

On to these week's always, Home teams are in CAPS, and the line is taken from the Las Vegas Hilton, from

CAROLINA (-7) over Atlanta

Matt Ryan, when exposed to our Sun, turns into a mere mortal. The dome will not protect him.

Denver (-9.5) over KANSAS CITY

I thought about this one, but Denver's offense is going to blow the Chiefs out of the water late, though expect some nervous gamblers through three quarters.

NEW ORLEANS (-4.5) over San Francisco

The 49ers may be the surprise of the NFC West (well, did YOU have them starting 2-1?) but I'm not sold on their defense stopping Drew Breese.

Arizona (+1) over NEW YORK JETS

Brett Favre does not grasp the Jets offense...not even close. The jets defense can't seem to grasp the Jets defense. A tough game, but could be a big bounce back win for the Redbirds.

Minnesota (+3) over TENNESSEE

Its the "Back-up QB is our Savior Bowl"! If this game goes into OT, I want to see a special shootout style OT, where Travaris Jackson and Vince Young try to hit wide open receivers. First one within 5 yards of the target wins!

Green Bay (+1) over TAMPA BAY

I know the Packers didn't look good on Sunday night, but they are still much better than the Bucs. Fantasy football note: My soul died a little when I picked up Jerramy Stevens as tight end this week. Can rape be a scoring stat? It can? I WIN!

JACKSONVILLE (-7) over Houston

I actually drafted Matt Shaub as my backup QB thinking "he will have a decent year, and someone will want to trade for him later on..." 

My bad.

Cleveland (+3.5) over CINCINNATI 

I can't see one team getting to far ahead of the other in this one. It could end in a 0-0 tie. This game is going to suck...pseudo-porn time:

Fun fact: This image comes up during a Google Search of "Pseudo-porn"

San Diego (-7.5) over OAKLAND

If Raiders D-lineman shoved as hard as their staff guy shoved a beat reporter, they might get a pass rush...they just might.

Buffalo (-8) over ST. LOUIS

I work at a radio station that airs "The Scott Linehan Show". Upon listening to it, Scott Linehan should not be allowed near the following things:

~Large bottles of Asprin
~Rust potato peelers
~Buckets of water
~A coaching headset

Dallas (-11) over WASHINGTON

Eleven points on the road is a lot, but then again Dallas had little problems with it last week against a much tougher opponent.

Philadelphia (-3) over CHICAGO

The Eagles are going to be dangerous this season.

Baltimore (+5.5) over PITTSBURGH

I think this one could be close, plus Big Ben was just sacked by the Eagles again, so...he's got that to work through.

Enjoy the games, and happy betting!

1 comment:

  1. Hey, you forgot to pick the Buffalo-St. Louis, Dallis-Washington, Philly-Chicago and Baltimore-Pittsburgh games!

    Or did something just distract my attention?

    Well done.
    (the picks were good too)