Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Well, I guess I'll pick up K-Rob's drinking problem

Let's just start working our way up, shall we?

Reading the Seattle Times Seahawk blog today, I see that Koren Robinson is not only back with the Seahawks, but he is also living the sober life now. That's great to hear. This was a receiver with a lot of potential that he never did will realize. And, as a fan of the Seahawks, I have no other choice.

I will take up K-Rob's drinking problem.

Fear not, K-Rob, whereas you probably aren't allowed to touch alcohol, I have access to beer and hard liquor. Even wine. Wine, Koren, sweet delicious wine! One time I decided to have a glass of it with dinner, then decided I didn't need a glass...since you know, the bottle is made out of that anyway.

I once tried to outdrink The Dude from the Big Lebowski. To make these white russians, I did not ue shot glasses...I used liquid measuing cups. Have you ever had three cups worth of white russians? Its amazing.

One time I bought a bottle of rum and when the casheir asked if I needed a bag I replied, "no." I spent the remaining party drinking from said bottle, attempting to hit on girls, and then just to be a dick pretended to be the police. Man that scared everyone at the party. I got a lot of high fives for that one. Not from the party's organizer though, I think she still hates me.

This is the level of comittment that I am offering here, K-Rob. You stay sober and focus on running routes and catching passes. Apperently Jordan Kent couldn't, which is why I had a few Killian's while debating why exactly we cut him.

So Koren, whenever you close your eyes and see that beautiful, beautiful bottle of bourbon, or when you hear the Qwest Field Beer vendors above everyone else, know this: I will drink for you. Sure there are fans that cheer loud at the game and try to help the game by making it hard for other players to hear. I, however, will be doing something just for few, Koren. I will get absolutely plowed/shit faced/pissed (for our Australian and British friends)/deee-RUNK so you don't have to.

Its the least I can do.

1 comment:

  1. I love this for two reasons:

    1. It's quite cruel
    2. It inspires me to drink