Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Ichiro Suzuki Is Going to make Vick's Life a Nightmare

Ichiro Suzuki recently signed a five year extension with the Seattle Mariners. Why you might ask? Hargrove leaving? Team playing better? No. How about Fido...

Here's an excerpt from his press conference:

Did any one person influence you to stay in Seattle?Yes, my dog. He said "ruff, ruff, ruff." That means "stay, stay, stay."

Thanks to the fine folks at Enjoy the Enjoyment for posting the press conference.

So, what does that have to do with Michael Vick. Well, considering that Vicks getting his day in court tomorrow and Ichiro understands dogs...well, we have one boned Falcon on our hands.

We'd ask Noriaki Kinoshita to see, but his dog translating abilities have yet to be seen.

Now, its a federal case, so we may never know what Ichiro can tell the authorities. But rest assured, the testimony of those dogs will be heard.

Thanks Ichiro. Now, stop striking out/popping out with runners in scoring position.


  1. That's one "According to Ichiro" article that Mike Vick hopes to never read!!!

  2. My dog must bark a different dialect. In my house, "ruff, ruff, ruff" means "get me some kibbles, motherfucker."

  3. I can't think of anything funny to write that doesn't sound horribly racist. Uhhh, asians eat dogs!

  4. So, what you're saying then JoSCh is that if Mike Vick was Korean there's be no evidence in the case??!!

  5. No, he's saying if the Falcons had signed Noriaki Kinoshita sooner, there'd be no evidence.

    FBI Agent: OK, VIck. Where are the dog remains?

    Vick: I'm telling you dude, I don't know. My wide reciever took care of that for me...

    Kinoshita (enters room) WHO WANT EGG DROP SOUP!?!?!?

    Oh God, I'm going to Hell...Seahawk Blue reunion, anyone?

  6. I hear Ichiro's dog's name is 'Runch.'