Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Guy Rules

OK, Ladies, this one is for the guys. We, as guys have rules. Sometimes even we don’t understand, but we have rules none the less. For most of us, it’s about beer, broads and ball. If it blows up, implodes or crashes disastrously, we love it. Land, water or air the faster, the better. Big blocks, Small blocks, Hemi, Turbine or Rocket powered, if it breathes fire. It’s what we are all about. Hell, we’ll race anything that moves, even belt sanders. Tools are full of fun impromptu battles that can break out with nary a look, like a much needed nail gun target competition.

So feel free to chime in if you dare but please don’t feel emasculated if you fail miserably, for these be the rules of the guy. Most of you have heard of the man law. I will have you know here and now that this advertisement frenzy was ripped off from yours truly.
I have proof of this for those of you who are bold enough to Doubt Mr. Max. A few years back, I was an Administrator at "http://fanssportsboard.com" for the Football, Football Teams and General Discussions threads for around three years. Located in the archives of the General Discussions threads is a topic called "Guy Rules" which originated more than three years before the weak and feeble “Man Law”. Great off-season banter was had by all and some of the rules were outrageously funny, but true. Rules like the Wingman taking one for the team by keeping the not so attractive gal busy while your buddy goes in for the score on the beauty. It’s just part of the deal when it comes to being a guy. We communicate with a simple look. “They” say that women use thousands upon thousands more words to communicate than a man does. Now on the surface, this may appear to say that the gals are far more intelligent than we lowly guys are. Fact is, we don’t need all the chatter to communicate with one another because we use telepathy. We do not need all of the Hen cackling to communicate and define things we must do, as guys.

Things like picking the middle urinal and looking straight ahead at all times. ‘Cause checking out another guys Johnson, is a foul, labeling you as, “one of them”. Not that there is anything wrong with being, “one of them”. The exception to choosing the middle urinal is only void if one on the left or right have been taken. It is then, that you must now take the urinal furthest from the other “Urinator”. We have many, many more rules and they must be told. Oh this is not the feebled Man Law of which I speak, or write as it were, real guy rules. And now, with out further ado. We, the guys, will define what are the laws of the land that we must live by.

MaxHawk...12 Street Writer.

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