Great Coach Tirade Medley

Ahhh, I miss the sights and sounds of the regular season. The beer. The screaming fans. The cheerleaders. And -- pissed off coaches.

Click and enjoy this great NFL Head Coach Tirade Medley, with such timeless classics as:

• Herm Edwards, 2002: "HELLO! We play to win the game!"
• Bill Callahan, 2003: "We are the dumbest team in America."
• Jim Mora, 1996: "We did diddly-poo."
• Mike Ditka, 1999: "NEXT!" and "What do you care?"
• Jim Fassel, 2000: "We're raising the ante."
• Jim Mora, 2001: "Playoffs? Don't talk to me about Playoffs!"
• And of course, Dennis Green, 2006: "THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE."

Good times.

Richie Cunningham Channeling the Spirt of Elliott Ness

According to our friends at ProFootballTalk.com, the NFL has circulated a memo informing all teams to get rid of alcohol from their team facilities, team planes and locker rooms.

There's no word whether the memo was sponsored by Anheuser-Busch or Miller, but it did come with a coupon for 20% off the Box Set of the old Untouchables series.

I just have one word for the Commish: PUSSY!

I'm all for the tougher personal conduct policy, but prohibition just doesn't work. Besides, what's the sense of having a personal conduct policy if you have no faith that your players will know how to personally conduct themselves?

Sure, that Cardinals pitcher got all liquored up and took the flaming death sled to oblivion, but is that any reason to deprive Walter Jones of a nice cold beer after pushing around the league's premier defensive ends for 3 hours on Sunday?

I wasn't born yesterday, so I know the league is just trying to avoid any negative publicity should one of their players get liquored up and kill themselves in an automobile accident (cough*derrickthomas*cough) but let's not bite the hand that feeds here. Who does he think is paying the million dollar salaries of these gladiators of the gridiron?

Thanks to a web site called GroomsOnLine.com, which sells stadium scoreboard photos to which you can add your own personal message, I was able to do some quick research and found that no fewer than 25 of the 32 NFL teams prominently feature a beer or liquor brand on their stadium scoreboard. (see list below) And anyone who has ever had to suffer through a "TV time out" knows that without beer commercials, a regular season game would last about 90 minutes!

These guys are old enough to vote, old enough to go to war, and old enough to lug hefty bags full of dollar bills into strip clubs, so I say they're old enough to enjoy a cocktail or six after a hard day at the office. I mean, it's got to be bad enough playing for the Texans or Raiders, but now they won't even be able to drown their sorrows after their regularly scheduled Sunday drubbings!

If Richie Cunningham is going to approach his term as Commissioner like Eliott Ness, then let's hope the Vikings charter another Love Boat cruise before the season starts. I sure would like to enjoy watching my Seahawks play each Sunday without all those annoying Viagra and Cialis commercials!

Arizona
Atlanta
Buffalo
Carolina
Chicago
Cincinnati
Denver
Detroit
Green Bay
Houston
Indy
Jacksonville
Minnesota
New England
New Orleans
NY Jets
Oakland
Shittsburgh
San Diego
San Francisco
St. Loser
Tampa Bay
Tenessee
Slursville

Chad Johnson to Join In Race of Horse vs. A$$

Once and a while I see a headline that is too perfect, too ironic, too asinine to believe. But it's true.

From ESPN.com Horse Racing News, we observe "Bengal's Chad Johnson vs. Horse in Benefit Race."

"Cincinnati Bengals all-pro wide receiver Chad Johnson will race a horse at River Downs in Cincinnati, Ohio on Belmont Stakes Day, June 9, as a fund-raiser for Feed the Children, an Oklahoma City-based charity that provides food, medicine, clothing, and other necessities to children around the world. The race, billed as "man vs. beast," will be held on the turf course, with Johnson starting at the sixteenth pole and the horse, Restore the Roar, starting at the eighth pole."

Not only is he going to race for charity, but he has also donated sports memorabilia to be sold at a silent auction.

To pledge one's efforts to such a cause is commendable. But with Johnson's recent, ummm, track record, you have to wonder if he'll actually pony up or stiff them like an ass.

This event is literally teeming with punchlines. Why don't you help me write some of them while I mule it over.

Chad Johnson's New Moniker: Oso Cheapo!

First there was the issue of sticking Sean Peyton with the $1,600 bill for 10 tickets to the Bengals/Saints game, the the hosting coach was good enough to procure for the visiting egomaniac.

Now comes word from WLWT TV5 in Kentucky that Chad Johnson could be the most recent Bengal to turn in his orange striped jersey for well, an orange striped jumpsuit.

Seems the effervescent receiver and a local comedy club called the Funny Bone were in cahoots on a raffle which supposedly included as prizes: tickets to the Pro Bowl, the Super Bowl and a Lexus.

Funny thing is though, it appears that no prizes were ever awarded. And those who were sucked in by the blond-mohawked one are none-too-happy about getting scalped.

Memo to Chad: when it comes to your fans, there's nothing to Funny about them getting Boned.

Oh yeah, and NFL Commissioner Richie Cunningham already has the Bengal's front office on speed-dial, so you might want to start packing for your trip to New York.

Where Are All the Black Bloggers?

The NFL is a league predominantly made up of non-white players, run by predominately white coaches and front office personnel.

Is the internet just another facet of this arbitrary color barrier?

I have been participating in fan forums and sports related blogs for several years now, and I can count on one hand the number of regular African American contributors who either identified themselves as such through their screen name or their commentary.

As a matter of fact, the number is two. HawkSista from the PI forum and O-Meezy from this very blog.

So in a nation where the majority of the population is a minority, where are all the black bloggers? I think it would be great to get the input and perspective from the African-American sports fans out there, especially on issues like Pacman Jones, Mike Vick and that video clip of Peyton Manning dancing.

Is it there some Caucasian predisposition to wasting your employer's work time conversing on the internet with anonymous people who share the same interests as you?

Are sports-blogs the modern day member's only country club or private fraternal organization?

Or is this just another case where I'm cluelessly tooling around in the suburbs and all the black bloggers are hanging out in at some super cool site in the city, with multi-color graphics, phat sounds and bitchin video feeds?

TWM: And the Winner Is...

GAIN-Q: "Quinn's attempts to cover his penile erection fail
when his throwing arm gets erect."

Way to hit that one outta the park, bitch!

Honorable mention goes to me, because I roll that way: "Brady Quinn reacts as he sees Jeff Garcia enter the room."

'nuff said.

David Kircus Can Blow Smoke Up Mike Shanahan's A$$

So here's the story: Broncos receiver David Kircus got in a fight after a party in the Denver suburbs on May 20. He allegedly punched a man in the face and sent him to the hospital looking like a hockey player. Kircus now faces a second degree assault charge that can give him two to six years in the sodomy shack.

But he's innocent, or so he says. He even convinced Mike Shanahan it was self defense by telling him he's willing to take a polygraph test, and subsequently passing.

The result? According to ESPN.com:

"If he flunked the test, he would not be with us," Shanahan said. "He wanted to take the test. He said, 'Coach, if I flunk it, I won't be on this football team. If I do pass it, I'll be on this team.' I said, 'Hey, that's fair enough for me.'

"Anybody that wants to go in there and take a lie-detector test where his career is based on whether it comes out positive or negative, I've got a good feeling" that he defended himself in the fight, Shanahan said.

Mike Shanahan, you've been duped. Anyone can pass a lie detector test. Dumbass.

I can see it now -- David Kircus jumping on the internet and finding antipolygraph.org, and finding everything he needs to know to beat the machine. It's all right there. Take note of some of these facts provided on their site:

• The consensus view among scientists is that polygraph testing has no scientific basis


• The Defense Academy for Credibility Assessment (the erstwhile DoD Polygraph Institute) suppressed a study suggesting that innocent blacks are more likely to fail the polygraph than innocent whites


• The National Academy of Sciences concluded that "[polygraph testing's] accuracy in distinguishing actual or potential security violators from innocent test takers is insufficient to justify reliance on its use in employee security screening in federal agencies"


• Spies Ignatz Theodor Griebl, Karel Frantisek Koecher, Jiri Pasovsky, Larry Wu-tai Chin, Aldrich Hazen Ames, Ana Belen Montes, and Leandro Aragoncillo all passed the polygraph?


• One of the most prolific serial killers in U.S. history passed the polygraph and killed again


• You don't have to be a psychopath, go to spy school, or somehow believe your own lies to fool the polygraph

And why in the hell wouldn't Kircus give it a shot? If he's found guilty in a court of law, he'll lose his job. If he fails the polygraph,, he'll lose his job. If he manages to get a successful test, he supposedly keeps his job either way, and may even score some points in public opinion.

I thought Shanahan was smarter than that.

Tony Romo Swims In a Cruel Irony

Tony Romo has baggage. I can prove it.

In case you missed it, consider the plight of Miss USA Rachel Smith. At the Miss Universe competition, she walked down the runway and dropped to make a snail track pap smear brown suckermark moon pie right-smack-dab in the middle of the stage.

To her credit, she got right up and never lost composure. Here's the video:



Then comes the time when Miss Smith is to draw out card out of a fishbowl, to see what judge gets to ask her a mindless question. Amid a chorus of a Mexico City hometown heckling, chanting and a chorus of boos, what judge does she draw? As if her luck isn't shitty enough, she picks judge number one, Tony 'Butterfingers' Romo, quarterback of the future with the Dallas Cowboys.

This is where Romo goes for the jugular. The ASSHOLE OF RECORD asks, "If you could go back and relive one moment in your life, what moment would you pick, and why?"

As if nobody was thinking about her glorious ass kissing the glossy stage moments earlier.

See it for yourself, and listen to the obnoxious crowd:



Now why would that question be on your mind, Tony? Could you still be laying awake at night, self-basting in your own flop-sweat, thinking about what could have been?

I have a question for you Mr. Romo... If you could go back and relive one moment in your life, what moment would you pick, and why?

HOW ABOUT THIS ONE!!!

The NFLPA: Free Pac Man!

Don't worry about that season long suspension, Pac Man. The NFLPA has yer back.

Pac Man did a few bad things:

• Arrested for obstruction of police
• Arrested for public intoxication and disorderly conduct
• Failed to report a February arrest and a March arrest on marijuana possession charges
• Police have recommended charges against Jones for inciting a fight inside a strip club in February that resulted in a triple shooting and left one man paralyzed.

For his reward, Commissioner Richie Cunningham gave Adam Jones the NFL version of a bitch slap, a one year suspension.

Much to our surprise, the player's union is dismayed. So they wrote a nasty letter:

"Your suspension of Jones without pay for the entire 2007 season is clearly excessive and much greater than discipline imposed upon other players for the same or similar incidents... no player has ever been disciplined by the commissioner for conduct relating to criminal charges while they are pending."

What a load of crap. The commish should be able to fire him for life if he so wishes.

Enjoy the video.

Why Couldn't It Had Been Roethlisberger?

Another NFL player has learned that he is not indestructable.

Unfortunately, this one is being fitted for wings instead of a walking cast.

Patriots third-year defensive end Marquise Hill went out for a holiday joy ride on his jet-ski, without a life jacket or tracking device, and now he's the latest to waste his life and promising career thanks to a careless accident.

It must be quite the "Chinese curse" when a player realizes his dream of an NFL contract. On one hand you've got the ability to buy all the cool toys that money can buy, but on the other, you should hold off on enjoying them until after your playing days are over.

Hill will no doubt be lionized, since this foolish accident took his life, but if he was just out for the season, would the common fan and NFL community be so kind?

Just look at the backlash that Ben Roethlisberger and Kellen Winslow had to rightfully endure when their lack of common sense and proper precaution negatively impacted their availability and contributions to their teams the following season.

These guys just don't get it. NFL careers are already very brief, when measured against the normal life expectancy of the average American male, so it's not like they need to deprive themselves from motorcycles, jet skis and dog fighting for the rest of their lives. Just for about 5-7 years, on average.

And for heavan's sake. If you are going to engage in these activities, wear a helmet, wear a life vest, or don't attempt to be Evil Kneivel on the day you drive the Ninja off the showroom floor.

By just taking the recommended precautions, Hill would still be joining his teammates for the post-practice shower...instead...he just washed up on shore.

Tuesday With Morons: Brady Quinn Village Person

You provide the caption. Winner TBA.

Rank and File: Hire a Head Coach

Imagine yourself the owner of a brand-new NFL expansion football team. You have a new state-of-the-art stadium, a roster full of good players and a staff full of 20 year-old blond bimbos with DD cups and dentures.

You're just missing one thing - a Head Coach.

To solve the problem, NFL commissioner Richie Cunningham made a rediculous offer to you - in exchange for just one of your 20 year-old blond bimbos with DD cups and dentures, he will arrange it so you can have any coach you want, even if you have to pilfer him from another NFL team. The only caveat is that they must either be currently coaching or have served as a coach in the last five years.

Since not every coach will be willing to move, he asks that you give him a list of five coaches, in order of preference.

What would your list look like? Write it in the comments.

Remember, this is a business. Leave your sentimental favorites out of it and pick a winner.

Here is my list:

1. Bill Belichick
2. Mike Holmgren
3. Tony Dungy
4. Sean Payton
5. Lovie Smith

If you say 'Scott Linehan', you're gay.

Vick May Be Getting a Bad Rap

Some truth is coming out in the Michael Vick dog fighting investigation. It appears that he may not be as cruel and inhumane as I once thought. AP reports via ESPN:

"Since the raid, Poindexter said, erroneous reports have surfaced that the dogs were malnourished and that many had scarring and injuries consistent with dog fighting. The dogs, he said, appeared largely to have been well cared for, and the only one that required immediate veterinary care had a broken leg because of a birth defect."

That's good to hear. The thought of 66 malnourished dogs reeks of a canine holocaust. I'm glad it's not true. But why did that come out? Sounds like an overzealous cop to me.

There are some other things that bother me:

"The investigation is focused on dog fighting because while some equipment seized could be typical of a legitimate breeding operation, which Vick is registered to have, there also was a "pry bar" used to pry apart a dog's jaws, and bloodstained carpeting."

I know of loving, caring, responsible pit bull breeders that wisely have these bars, just in case of an emergency. They call it a "break stick." When a pit bull clamps down on something, there is no way in hell it is letting go. This is the only way to get them off, short of injuring them.

In fact, do yourself a favor and check out this link at Pit Bull Rescue Central. Read right under the words, "Why Every Responsible Pit Bull Owner Needs a Break Stick."

But what about the blood stains? Isn't that evidence of a dog fighting operation?

"The bloodied carpet was seized during the raid, and Poindexter said he saw what appeared to be blood spatters on the floor of a room inside the home above the garage.

""The floor was not drenched in blood, but there were specks that appeared to me to be blood," he said."

Specks of blood? Really? I imagine you could find that in any kennel.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not taking up for Vick. I'm taking up for the truth. This whole picture was painted as being much worse than reality.

But there is something very amiss about having 60+ dogs on a property. That is a crime in itself, if it is not part of a rescue operation. And if this is part of a dog fighting operation, it is indeed heinous. But there are so many exaggerated details about this incident that it sounds like a bad rap.

Breaking Wind of Change

I just farted.

Which helps me to appreciate just how far technology has elevated blogging.

DON'T CLICK THAT 'BACK' BUTTON! Allow me to explain.

Right now, I am not in the office typing. Being Memorial Day weekend,
I wanted to take our old ski boat out for a test drive. Every year,
after the boat has wintered over, I take it out for a solo joy ride,
just to check everything over. Then I can take the family and friends
out with a lot less stress and worry.

So right now, I am out in the middle of the Columbia River, slowly
drifting by the West end of Columbia Park. The sunset is beautiful. A
majestic Blue Heron just flew by. I can hear people with their friends
having fun in the park. My Corona is ice cold and the condensation
from the bottle feels like heaven on my mildly sunburned forehead.

But that fart smells like shit from hell. The mosquitoes even stopped
bothering me. Thanks to this Blackberry, and wireless internet, I
don't have to blog at you from the confined space of my office.
Somebody would be dialing 911 for sure. Friggin Nazi death chamber
skidmark control room bullshit.

So I have God to thank for this (nearly) perfect moment, and
technology to thank for my ability to share it with you without dying.

Have a great Memorial Day weekend. May you have comfort as you
remember those you have lost. May you have a deep appreciation for
those you still hold as you spend your time together in life's
pleasures. And may you have wide open, airy spaces to fart in.

Gotta go. I'll be landing the boat in the dark now. And checking my
shorts soon therafter.

Tale of the Tape: Hasselbeck vs O'Donnell

This isn't a comparison of Superbowl quarterbacks Matt and Neil, but rather a tale of the tape to determine who would win the battle had push really come to shove between Rosie O'Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck on the View.

And unlike comparing great athletes from different sports or different eras, there isn't much physical or statistical data on either of these women, so we're going to have to do our best using their Wikipedia profiles and some good imagination.

So if someone would please "ring the bell you pansy" we'll get right to the ABC Battle of the Network Stars:

Round 1: AGE
Hasselbeck: Born: May 28, 1977 (30)
O'Donnell: Born: March 21, 1962 (45)

While Rosie's profession as a stand-up comedian, not to mention her off the wall political views, has probably toughened her up to take a punch, you just can't discount youth, especially if the match goes the distance.

ADVANTAGE: Hasselbeck

Round 2: HEIGHT/WEIGHT
Hasselbeck: Unknown, but ideal!
O'Donnell: Unknown, but ideal for a defensive tackle

ADVANTAGE: O'Donnell

[Rounds 3-8 Continued at SeahawkBlue.com]

This Just In: Marvin Lewis is Black Too!

Perhaps it was all the hype given to Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith, for being the first two African American coaches to reach the Super Bowl. Perhaps it was just the pressure of seeing his crew spend more time in the cooler than Colonel Hogans boys during the full run of the series. Or perhaps it is the first crack in the armor and an indication of how so many players from one team could get into so much trouble in such a short period of time.

But whatever the reason, Marvin Lewis spoke out the other day on the Dan Patrick show, seemingly to remind everyone that he's black.

"I think there's profiling, no question. We're [Cincinnati] a small place, our guys stand out, and they know that and you've got to do things the right way, but when you are arrested for, or you are pulled over for not putting on your turn signal, there's something wrong there. Many people make right turns without putting on their turn signals and that's unfortunate that we've had a guy that's pulled over for not putting on his turn signal."

There are code words used by both sides in the racial equality lexicon, and "profiling" is one of the big ones. By dropping the P-word, Lewis was basically playing the race card, whether he would rather retract his statement a day later or not. I'm sure the Bengals organization would like to grab Marvin Lewis, shake him and yell "what the fuck are you doing, channeling the ghost of Johnny Freaking Cochran??!!"

Sure, it sucks to be pulled over for not using a turn signal. It's happened to me, and usually, you wind up getting a warning or a ticket, and that's the end of the story. However, if you're pulled over for it at the wrong time, in the wrong part of the city, with the wrong stuff in your possession or in your vehicle, it becomes a bigger issue. Whether your a receiver or a receptionist, black or white.

And to try to minimize the past transgressions of Chris Henry by painting him as a victim of a questionable stop over an insignificant driving violation is laughable. To do it with the race card up your sleeve is irresponsible.

Up until now, Marvin Lewis has been like a Teflon Toilet, maintaining his pristine image as each one of these locker room turds hit the bowl and get flushed through the system, not leaving so much as a tell-tale skid mark on their coach. However, by making these irresponsible statements, and then doing the prepared statement apology dance a day later, I think he's just stepped up as the focal point for all the problems and issues surrounding the Bengals.

And with so many of his players in orange jumpsuits, rather than orange jerseys, Marvin Lewis has a better chance of being the next African American head coach on the unemployment line, than the Superbowl sideline.

Real Men Don't Eat Keyshawn

Lord, have mercy. Keyshawn Johnson retired.

[cue applause]

That's not a bad thing. After 11 NFL seasons, a Super Bowl ring, three Pro Bowls, the status of being the #1 pick of the draft -- he has enjoyed a great football career. I can respect that.

The worst thing I heard today is that ESPN hired him as a pregame analyst.

[cue giant sucking wind sound]

I am honestly dreading these broadcasts. He was annoying enough as a player, when it wasn't his job to talk and form a respectable opinion. But now....?

I can see it already - "Just Gimme the Damn Microphone!" should hit the shelves this summer. His gameday co-analysts will struggle for their due face time as he rambles about things he imagined did on the field. When asked about another player in the game, Johnson will somehow answer the question by talking about himself. And someone, at some point, will goad him into saying something offensively stupid.

Lord, have mercy.

Here's a little bonus Keyshawn for those that have forgotten about his wonderful personality:

This Dude Should Change From Gay

What's in a name?

It depends. In the fabled song A Boy Named Sue, the central character grows up with an effeminate monniker, and grows up tough as nails because of it.

But this is different. This dude is Gay. With a capital 'G'. And I get to giggling like an orgasmic dolphin when he makes headlines on ESPN.

Len Pasquarelli just posted an article with several insufferable phrases:

"the Patriots made Gay three months ago"

"Having Gay healthy again"

"New York Jets brought Gay in for a visit last month"

"the Patriots gained Gay's exclusive rights"

"Gay is expected to compete for a nickel"

Yeah, I need to grow up. So does everyone else that gives him a rash of shit every day for it. But why not change it? In a different age, that name had a different meaning. Now it means something else entirely. If he wants to keep his family legacy, he should change his name to any of a number of synonyms. Mirthful would do. Festive or frivolous has a ring to it. Joyful or bouncy brings a smile.

But Gay? Why keep Gay? His great-great grandparents would be horrified.

Who the Fuck Is Buying These Fatheads?

Like reaching down in the back of the cab, only to find out that the hot chick that's been hitting on you all night in the bar has a dick, I find my regular morning interlude with NFL Network equally as abruptly interrupted by these freaking Fathead commercials. Even more so now that they've got the raspy voiced and delicious Alex Flanagan hosting the show.


(Down "little alba", not now, we're concentrating on a rant!)

Who the fuck is buying these Fatheads, and why in the name of all that is holy hasn't that company gone tits-up by now? Last I checked, it'll cost you $100 for the cheesey team helmet edition, or $120 if you want to get your favorite player. I mean, does the American sports fan REALLY have that much disposable income, to be ordering these over-priced, over-sized ColorForms on steriods for their kids? Or perish the thought, are grown men buying these things for themselves?

Dude, it's bad enough you had to buy the triple-XL Roethlisberger jersey to fit over your 40-year old beer gut, but is that chain-smoking, polyester wearing, fatass of a wife of yours REALLY letting you put up a FatHead in your double-wide?

My guess is that the company was started by Uselessberger and his extra-terrestrial friend Torry Holt, as their the only two pitchmen I see for the product 20 or 30 times every SportsCenter. And if they don't own the company, who was the Marketing-school drop out to choose these two to be the face of the product? If there was any backbone to truth in advertising laws, these things should be named DickHeads!

If I had my way, I'd go all Colonel Kurtz and search the villages across this nation, chopping off the vaccinated arms of anyone who owned a Fatass! Better yet, throat-tie them all to a bamboo cage and drop Chef's fathead in their laps as I casually walk by. That would be GREAT!

Man, I hate these things enough that in 10 years or so, I won't care if the Presidential candidates smoked a little grass, or got hummers from overweight interns as much as I'll have a burning desire to know if they've ever purchased or possessed a fathead. That my friend, is going to cost somebody the Whitehouse. Mark my words.

I live for the day that this company goes the way of the Pet Rock and the Flowbee, and I don't have to see Big Has-Ben or Torry Big-Lame Holt's mug in my TV screen every morning, at least 10 times and hour, while I'm getting ready for work.

And if they aren't going out of business, might I suggest the female sportscaster line, and put in my reserve order for one of the first Alex Flanagan's that roll off the Taiwanese assembly line? Heck, make it a double and send a Suzy Kobler over to my friend Captain Caveman.

Oh yeah, and Alex my dear, I've got a life-sized purple fathead waiting for you when you arrive!

My Name is URL

It's the off-season.

So The Fuck What!

Used to be, as a life-long Seahawks fan living on the East Coast, that I had to scratch and claw for any shred of news about my favorite team, DURING the season, and only really knew the names of the players the WorldWide MisLeader deemed worthy of their precious air time.

Now, thanks to NFL Network and the internet, I can probably tell you the 2nd and 3rd string option at each position on offense and defense, how they were acquired, and what's their favorite dish. OK, to be honest, that last bit of information is from the Seahawks Cookbook I picked up on one of my trips to the motherland, but you get the idea.

If you're reading this blog entry, you're like me, a rabid fan who can't get enough information on this team, 24 x 7 x 365, so I have a question for you...

What three web sites can't you live without?

For me, the answer is quite simply Seahawks Insider (aka: Mike Sando's Blog), SeahawkBlue.com, and ProFootBallTalk.com.

If my early days of getting Seahawks news 10 seconds per week on SportsCenter was like experimenting with marijuana, Mike Sando's blog is like main-lining heroine with my nyphomaniac, swimsuit model wife who owns a Porche dealership! Quite simply, it's the best source for Seahawks news anywhere. Bar none. If there's something happening with the Seahawks, Sando's got it, and usually first, and provides the information with his own spot-on, objective analysis and not the usual homerism that you get from a local sports beat reporter.

He also doesn't feel the need to feed his ego and go all negative on the team, even in the wake of monumental boneheaded manuevers like using the Transition Tag on Hutch, like Steve Kelley or the ever repulsive Les Carpenter.

While SeahawkBlue.com is only a little more than a year old, it has established itself as the best fan forum site on the internet, in my not-so-humble opinion. What makes this site so special is the fact that it is completely designed, moderated, and controlled by the people who post there, not some underpaid community college drop-out who is managing skatey-eight other forums for some newspaper or for-pay site. Everyone is welcome to post there, even fans from rival teams, but idiots and trolls are quickly dealt with. Not by banning, but by relegating them to the dreaded Smackdown Forum, which is somewhat analogous to throwing the Christians to the lions back in the day. Of course, if it were modern times, I'd take St. Francis the sissy minus seven over the Kitna-lead Lions as long as Matt Millen is still at the healm!



Getting back to the Blue though, it's much more than just a Seahawks forum, it's a true on-line community. There are sub-forums for the other Seattle-area sports teams, a lounge for elite members to get to know each other better, and for the second year in a row, they are hosting a SeahawkBlue Get-Together when the hated Rams come to town, with attendance already doubled last years group.

ProFootballTalk.com made the list because they're not afraid to post crap that a friend heard from a friend's barber's sister's cousin's tailor, but a lot of time they're right on the money. The Picture of the Day is usually creative, although it doesn't change daily like the name might indicate, and their Turd Watch and Days Without An Arrest counter are very topical in the light of the strict personal conduct policy brought in by NFL commissioner Richie Cunningham.

I used to be a KFFL.com junkie, but since they get most of their Seahawks news from Sando, I've already read it on his blog before it appears on their site. Other honorable mention goes to Kissing Suzy Kolber, which is hysterical, but with some of their content, I'm breaking about a dozen office policies just by loading their blog!

So now that I showed you mine, it's time for you to show me yours.

If karma threw you a curve, and your internet provider could only provide access to three web sites, which ones would they be?

Doctor, We Have a Pulse!

I don't know if this constitutes a revival or not, but last week I started missing this old place.

I dusted off my blogger login and started checking things out with a fresh perspective. It turns out there are some cool things that can be done with the new blogger template - just check out Pamela on the left margin if you don't believe me.

Where do we go from here? It depends on your response.

Will the dude on the left slip back into a coma? Or will the nice lady kick start his heart, lift up his towel and make this a happy ending?

If you guys write, I will keep tweaking until we have a site that's good enough to make Roger Goodell pissed. If not, I'll go back and work on my avatars.