Thursday, May 31, 2007

Chad Johnson to Join In Race of Horse vs. A$$

Once and a while I see a headline that is too perfect, too ironic, too asinine to believe. But it's true.

From Horse Racing News, we observe "Bengal's Chad Johnson vs. Horse in Benefit Race."

"Cincinnati Bengals all-pro wide receiver Chad Johnson will race a horse at River Downs in Cincinnati, Ohio on Belmont Stakes Day, June 9, as a fund-raiser for Feed the Children, an Oklahoma City-based charity that provides food, medicine, clothing, and other necessities to children around the world. The race, billed as "man vs. beast," will be held on the turf course, with Johnson starting at the sixteenth pole and the horse, Restore the Roar, starting at the eighth pole."

Not only is he going to race for charity, but he has also donated sports memorabilia to be sold at a silent auction.

To pledge one's efforts to such a cause is commendable. But with Johnson's recent, ummm, track record, you have to wonder if he'll actually pony up or stiff them like an ass.

This event is literally teeming with punchlines. Why don't you help me write some of them while I mule it over.


  1. Great jpg to go along with this post, although you probably should have put some gold caps on that nag's teeth!

    I updated the Peep Show accordingly too. You gotta click the black square, if you want to see where the term "hung like a horse" comes from!

  2. Click the "black square" to see where the term "hung like a horse" comes from... no thanks. That shit ain't even legal in this state pal.

    Until Chad Johnson steps into the ring with a Mike Vick trained dog, color me unimpressed.

  3. So how do horses make babies in South Carolina then?

  4. It was an inter-racial joke... never mind. Also, I can't see youtube or photobucket from here, so mostly guessing what the media would be of anyway...

    However, I did want to let you know that I was pointed to another mostly sports comedy blog, by a friend, check out "The View" post from today. Quality.

  5. @alba: I think they make them out of glue.

    @Josh: I checked out SAYB... Nice! I think we have a link-to!

  6. @bloof re@alba... there is a tar baby joke in there somewhere... hey, Mitt Romney and John McCain are in town, how bout that.

  7. Shall I call in the air-strike??!!

  8. So do you hate Mormons or war heros, ya bigot commie? insert huge grinning smiley here

    Honestly, I'm writing in McCain/Lieberman. Or possibly McCain/Obama, assuming he doesn't get the nod and doesn't melt down. Cuz fuck their 2 party system.

  9. Talking politics? You're all cunts.

  10. insert ashamed smiley here

  11. Like like Mormons and War Heros.

    But most of all, I like cunts!

    (and I like blogs where you don't get banned for typing cunt)

  12. Got that right.

    For the record, the only post that get deleted from here will be spam, racial or religious hate, exploits minors, illegal, or anything that catches the eye of Blogger's TOS.

    If it merely pisses me off or insults me, it stays put.

    (Note to self: Buy alba a Mormon War Hero Cunt for his birthday.)

  13. I piss off and insult bloof on a regular basis, so I'm living proof that he stands behing his policy!