Thursday, May 24, 2007
Real Men Don't Eat Keyshawn
Lord, have mercy. Keyshawn Johnson retired.
That's not a bad thing. After 11 NFL seasons, a Super Bowl ring, three Pro Bowls, the status of being the #1 pick of the draft -- he has enjoyed a great football career. I can respect that.
The worst thing I heard today is that ESPN hired him as a pregame analyst.
[cue giant sucking wind sound]
I am honestly dreading these broadcasts. He was annoying enough as a player, when it wasn't his job to talk and form a respectable opinion. But now....?
I can see it already - "Just Gimme the Damn Microphone!" should hit the shelves this summer. His gameday co-analysts will struggle for their due face time as he rambles about things he imagined did on the field. When asked about another player in the game, Johnson will somehow answer the question by talking about himself. And someone, at some point, will goad him into saying something offensively stupid.
Lord, have mercy.
Here's a little bonus Keyshawn for those that have forgotten about his wonderful personality: