Thursday, May 24, 2007

This Dude Should Change From Gay

What's in a name?

It depends. In the fabled song A Boy Named Sue, the central character grows up with an effeminate monniker, and grows up tough as nails because of it.

But this is different. This dude is Gay. With a capital 'G'. And I get to giggling like an orgasmic dolphin when he makes headlines on ESPN.

Len Pasquarelli just posted an article with several insufferable phrases:

"the Patriots made Gay three months ago"

"Having Gay healthy again"

"New York Jets brought Gay in for a visit last month"

"the Patriots gained Gay's exclusive rights"

"Gay is expected to compete for a nickel"

Yeah, I need to grow up. So does everyone else that gives him a rash of shit every day for it. But why not change it? In a different age, that name had a different meaning. Now it means something else entirely. If he wants to keep his family legacy, he should change his name to any of a number of synonyms. Mirthful would do. Festive or frivolous has a ring to it. Joyful or bouncy brings a smile.

But Gay? Why keep Gay? His great-great grandparents would be horrified.


  1. The hell with a jersey name, the odds are that there are gay football players on rosters as we type. (not that there's anything wrong with it!)

    So, which football players do you think would rather play catcher?

    My suspicious three are:

    Ricky Williams
    Terrell Owens
    Mark Bulger

    Williams because he's obviously sucking on those doobies to overcompensate for the need to suck on something else.

    Owens because he's very neat and always showing off his physique.

    And Bulger...well...because he's a Ram.

  2. Sorta surprised the NFL didn't force him to change his name, just so they could sell more jerseys with a clear conscious.

    As far as who in the NFL is gay, all the AFC North QBs are gay, pretty obvious one there.

  3. pitchinfromPDX5/25/2007 12:58:00 PM

    Hey All!

    Somewhat interestingly, during the NFL's merchandising crackdown following the run on Ron Mexico custom order Falcons jerseys, Gay was one of the custom order names outlawed. It was viewed as somewhat stupid that a fan (or family member) of this Patriot's player could not order his jersey.

  4. Hey, pitchin!

    Gay was one of the custom order names outlawed.

    Holy crap. That's gay.

  5. What about "Branch covered by Gay"