For the purpose of providing potentially meaningful discussion and a pathetic facsimilie of closure, please consider the following hypothetical situation:
It's Monday, 6:30 pm in Seattle. You're on the way home from work and heard the news on the radio that the Seahawks lost their arbitration case with the NFLPA and Steve Hutchinson, which means he will wake up in the morning a Viking. Rather than head straight home, kick the dog and yell at the TV, you decide to pull into a local watering hole and cool down with a longneck.
You head into the bar, still tossing around mixed emotions about the whole deal. Good riddance? Is it a sad loss? Is Hutch a prick? Or is he making a decision any sane person would make if given the opportunity? Is he welcome salary cap relief? Is it much ado about nothing, since he is only a guard anyway?
Well today, one cold one leads to another. Pretty soon you're venting to the barkeep about the Hutchinson deal. Before you get too far, he stops you, and silently nods and points for you to turn around and look over by the window. You give a glance to a booth behind you, and you are stunned.
It is none other than Steve Hutchinson himself, along with some snazzily dressed gentleman with three cell phones. He cooly takes another drink of his Pacifico, as if to reflect on the last few moments as a Seahawk, waiting for the 9pm PST deadline to pass before his signed offer sheet with the Vikings turns into a full blown contract.
"WOW." You think to yourself. "This is a chance of a lifetime. I can't just let this go. I have to say something." You take the last swig of your beer. "Nah, screw him. It's a done deal anyway."
It doesn't work. The longer you sit there, the more you think of things you want to say to him. By the time Hutchinson lets out a smug chuckle, you've finally had it. You set your beer down and strut over to his table. With just enough liquid courage to boldly make sense, you plant both feet on the floor and attempt to look him square in th eye.
"Mr. Hutchinson? Excuse me..."
What would you say? Would you thank him? Would you curse him? Would you pick a fight? Would you ask a question?
I know a lot of you will have some good ideas. Let 'er rip.
GO SEAHAWKS!!!
I would say a variety of things, such as:
ReplyDeleteIm gonna choke you with the TTag
Hope you enjoy the burnmarks from Peterson running you over
Hope you enjoy a good T, like McKinnie...too bad Walter Jones is the best football player today...PERIOD
Hope you enjoy a team that will never have as much respect as ours did, yet alone giving you credit...something you'll find out soon enough, that olinesman dont get often
Hope you enjoy a horrible FO
Hope you enjoy your visit to Qwest Field...where you're gonna be booed and wet from all the beer dumped on you
Glad you're all about the money...I understand the contract is huge, and it was your one shot...but the biggest shot was the bullet that went through everyone of our backs when you signed the deal knowing the clause involved
Enjoy your career without the best tackle possible, Walter Jones...and good luck scrambling for the playoffs...
Bye Mr. Leaf Ericson!
So many choices--
ReplyDelete"You still here?"
"Don't let Koren pick you up at the airport."
"You're going to sound funny with that accent."
"Is purple kind of a gay color? I've heard it is. Not that there's anything wrong with that."
"You and Ken Lucas will be missed -- by the sniper fire."
"Thanks for going to a crappy team so we can afford Julian Peterson and John Abraham. You really 'laid on the grenade for the boys'"
"Think you might be able to afford a haircut now?"
"How many defenders can you block at once? That should be interesting."
"Culpepper's contract was more than twice the amount as yours, and yet he wanted the hell out of there. Weird. I be the Vikings front office had 49 million perfectly good explanations for that."
"Have you guys signed Joey Harrington yet? He's awesome. I hear he buys his offensive linemen a gift subsription to the Reader's Digest at Christmastime."
"You aren't fit to hold Walter's jock strap. How in the hell do you think you should be paid more than him? I can't believe you weren't laughed off the negotiation table. You're the best guard in the NFL, but YOU ARE NO WALTER JONES."
Posted by Bluefoot
Well, honestly I wouldn't say a word to Hutch, even after a whole day of angry drinking. Regardless of my feelings and the collective feelings of the Seahawk Nation, he's still a huge mo-fo and has a nasty attitude. I'm pretty sure I'd no longer be in the fighting mood once he stood up. Shiver .
ReplyDeleteThat said... "Hey Admiral, remember condoms on any fishing trips with yer teammates."
"Do you think Brad Johnson is athletic enough to only tear all his ligaments in his leg when the Hawks burst through the line, or will he simply snap in half like a Theisman?"
Also, love the Playmobile stare down pic, did you make that yourself Blue? They're educational ya know.
Posted by JoSCh
Great scenario Bluefoot...I felt like I was reading a Mickey Spilane novel!
ReplyDeleteI'd have to first thank him for several great years and for helping the franchise reach the Superbowl.
Then I'd ask him to indulge me three questions with honest responses:
1. did you really mean to stick it to the Seahawks on the way out of town by signing that contract, or was it just a classic case of "an offer you couldn't refuse"?
2. Who was it that came up with the Poison Pill idea? You? Your agent? The Vikings?
3. Did big Walter talk to you before restructuring, and if not, how do you feel about his and Seattle's despiration moves to keep you a Seahawk?
I would then take these honest responses back to the many Seahawks fan forums and blogs that I participate in, so fans could know the TRUTH when formulating their lasting impression of our former pro-bowl left guard.
I might share the news with Steve Kelley too, who seems to be a tad chaffed by this whole affair!
Posted by alba
Quote bucket worthy...
ReplyDelete"Don't let Koren pick you up at the airport."
"Hey Admiral, remember condoms on any fishing trips with yer teammates."
alba, you beat me too it. I would basically thank him for all his effort with the Hawks, and tell him I was sorry it didn't work out.
ReplyDeletePosted by PaulieP
Honestly, I'd thank him for the years in Seattle. He's been a great player for this team. I'm happy for him personally but I think the poison pill in his contract does a disservice to the league and his fellow players. I'd say I wish his agent would have gotten him more money because the transition tag loophole is now closed. No team is ever going to use the transition tag to allow a player to go seek out market again. So I hope it was worth it. That's probably where I'd stop.
ReplyDelete***
I have never, ever sided with management in a player/management dispute before this one. (My position has always been that no owner has ever been carted off the field like Mike Utley in Detroit.) This deal is bad for everyone long term for two reasons. First, team A shouldn't be able to de facto determine how team B *distributes* its cap dollars. (That's what the poison pill in essence allowed Minny to do; determine who Seattle's highest paid lineman should be totally independent of the market.) Second, this type of clause cannot lead anywhere good for the league. Though football is currently the most popular of the big 3 US sports right now, it's also the most poorly played. The biggest reason by far is that the salary cap--already too restrictive--brings cost certainty at the cost of too much roster flux. There's not nearly enough roster continuity for teams to get good and stay that way. This kind of clause produces another kind of uncertainty.
Posted by dave crockett
I wouldn't have anything to say; however, "Don't let Koren pick you up at the airport" is pretty hilarious.
ReplyDeleteAs for the poison pill, people, OF COURSE his agent thought of it. That's what agents do. I'm not saying that Hutch isn't a prefectly smart man, but -- hello! -- he is a professional football player . Does anybody really see him going over the fine print with Condon and saying, "You know, Tom, there's a way we can guarantee that I get out of town..."
Anyway, best guard in the league, integral part, blah blah blah... NOT worth $7 million. But you know who is? A game-changing outside linebacker.
Posted by Uff
First, I'd thank him for the good years and wish him luck. I'd ask the agent if he thought teams would start putting in preventive poision pills in contracts like corporations do when they become take-over targets.
ReplyDeleteThen I'd poke fun at Crockett's comment that football is the worse played of the big 3 sports. Hutch of course would agree and point out that basketball has to be the worse played professional sport--full of players that lack even the most basic fundamentals. It's essentially like watching football where no player can catch or block--but have the endzone dance down to a science. We wouldn't even waste our time outlining the lack of quality pitching in MLB, or the rampant drug use, or corked bats, etc.
I would wrap up the conversation by highlighting the great achievements of the Brad "How many teams has it been" Johnson. Of course, he's the poor man's version of Scott Mitchell--who is a poor man's version of a journeyman backup. Luckily we could regail ourselves with to depth and storied accomplishments of the Viking running backs. Best of all, we could celebrate how he has capped the Viking's lineman salaries for the next 7 years. For the next 7 years, as salaries grow, Hutch will always be the highest paid. For the next 7 years, the franchise tag is will be unavailable for linemen.
Cheers
Posted by bokonon
i would look at him for a while then i would ask him did u even want to stay in seattle how was his situation there.
ReplyDeleteI would ask him what was up with the poison pill.
Then ii would wish him luck in Minnesota but hope that he never makes the playoffs.
If Condon talked to me at all during this conversation i would slap him.
Posted by meezy
i would look at him for a while then i would ask him did u even want to stay in seattle how was his situation there.
ReplyDeleteI would ask him what was up with the poison pill.
Then ii would wish him luck in Minnesota but hope that he never makes the playoffs.
If Condon talked to me at all during this conversation i would slap him.
Posted by meezy
"Goooooo Hawwwks..."
ReplyDeleteAnd while I said this I'd stare at him real hard, with this intense serious look on my face, almost like I'd been trying to hold in a crap for 4 days. That'd get to him.
Posted by mk
he must be on some pills...
ReplyDelete...i wonder whether the Poison Pill is a blue, or yellow, or purple pill...
happy leaf ericson day!
Posted by adp
...basketball has to be the worse played professional sport--full of players that lack even the most basic fundamentals. It's essentially like watching football where no player can catch or block--but have the endzone dance down to a science. We wouldn't even waste our time outlining the lack of quality pitching in MLB, or the rampant drug use, or corked bats, etc.
ReplyDeleteumm... we may have to agree to disagree. i love the nfl and all but watching it on a given sunday is precisely like watching a league where no one can catch, block, or tackle. according to football outsiders, two teams this season competed for being the *worst* they have ever measured, and quite probably the worst of the modern era (san francisco and houston). even in seattle, despite having one of the most thorough and detail oriented coaches in the business the team's dropsies plagued short-circuited two seasons worth of playoff runs and then reappeared in this year's superbowl. the winning superbowl quarterback had a rating in the 30s! i can't see anywhere the nfl is better than the nba on fundamentals.
baseball's lack of quality pitching was at least in part a function of the absence of a steroids policy. and, as far as steroids are concerned, they certainly didn't detract from the *quality* of the league's hitters. (if they did no one would take them.) they detracted from the league's integrity (an altogether different and bigger problem). as for other drugs, you can't be serious. what sport has more potheads per roster spot than the nfl? there's a four week suspension virtually every week. the nba has the occasional high profile case (e.g., chris anderson) but it doesn't have a drug problem. the nfl has a drug problem.
Posted by dave crockett
I see someone has been served... just not sure who. Bo, funnier, DC, well spoken (spake?). I recommend a dance off. Oh, it's already been broughten!
ReplyDeletePosted by JoSCh
I really have to say, that while you both make good points, the NBA is UNWATCHABLE! I grew up watching the game back in the 70s and 80s, and to even BEGIN to compare todays players with guys like Magic Bird Jordan Dr.J etc...is laughable. And to say that the NBA doesn't have a drug problem? ummm...ok, lol! The NBA is entirely full of gangsters, thugs, punks, rapists, drug dealers, wife abusers, and selfish pricks of all kinds; who cannot dribble, pass, shoot, rebound or play defense even HALF as well as the players of the 70s and 80s. At least the team in Portland is appropriately named, the BLazers, cuz that's what everyone on that roster does. Were you serious when you said that? I don't mean to be disagreeable, but the NBA's biggest star is a frickin RAPIST! The other one is a child.
ReplyDeleteI mean seriously, every team in the NBA has children playing on them and you don't think that is a step back in fundamentals? Until high school kids, with ZERO fundamentals, stop being drafted into the NBA, your argument doesn't wash.
Posted by monkey
Hutch thanked everyone,, a true political move,, if it was so good here, he could have stayed for the same $$$.. HIPACRITICAL PIECE OF VERY RICH S@#%$!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHutch the bi-queens deserve you,, have a nice boat ride down the f&^%%$$ toilet!!!!!
Posted by ibboydb
On the other hand, ibb, your post was the epitome of class. ;)
ReplyDeletePosted by Bluefoot
I liked it! I thought it summed up pretty well my feelings on that situation.
ReplyDeleteI mean, apparently, Hutch wanted out as early as last year, and it ALL was about the money even according to himself. He was pissy because the Hawks didn't give him a big enough contract soon enough, so he wanted out. Winning? Bah, winning apparently means nothing to him. PLaying with teamates who have become very close to you? Bah! Screw em, they don't pay his salary. Having a chance for the Superbowl? Bah! Who gives a sh!t as long as he is being paid, and getting that B.S. "respect" he thinks he deserves.
Hutch is a great player, and was a hell of a lot of fun to watch play, but he can now officially kiss my a$$ after reading the words from his own mouth about why he wanted out.
$teve Hutcin$on...KISS MY MONKEY BUTT!
Monkey-
ReplyDeletethe comparison isn't today's NBA versus it's golden era of the 80s. Clearly, these players are not as skilled as those--though they are more athletic. As Doc Rivers says, "When I played 10 guys in the league could complete an alley-oop dunk but everybody could throw the pass. Now, everybody can complete the dunk but only 10 guys can throw the pass."
Still, the comparison in question is between today's NBA and today's NFL. On the issue of fundamentals, I say where's the difference on the field (court)? Consider that the two leagues are drawing from the same pool of high school athletes, many of whom play both sports before specializing in college. So there's little reason to even think that if lack of fundamentals is a problem it would somehow accrue more to one sport than the other. For every bricked 15-footer I'll show you a dropped pass, a poor pursuit angle, and a missed tackle.
As for the league being unwatchable, to each his own I suppose but if you go to basketball-reference.com you can see for yourself that offensive efficiency--points per 100 possessions--is back to where it was during the mid-90s, the heyday of the Bulls. It hovered between 106-108 then. Last year it was 106 after years of hovering between 102 and 104. Much of the comeback owes to more diverse styles of play. The handcheck rules have de-emphasized the need for hyperathleticism, which mostly helps you on defense not offense. Plus, the internationalization of the game has brought back the movement that makes the game fun to watch.
As for drugs, crime, and gangsterism. The NBA has a lot of studio "gangstas" but little of the real thing. The NFL has some guys who are much closer to the real thing. In the NBA you can point to essentially two high profile serious crime or drug cases of recent vintage: the Kobe Bryant rape trial and the Chris Anderson's lifetime suspension. Otherwise what you have is a littany of mostly misdemeanor level marajuana use (e.g., the JailBlazers) and a whole lot of yelling and screaming about it. The NBA has been far more attuned to recreational drug use issues under David Stern's watch than either of the other two leagues because rampant drug use by the likes of Micheal Ray Richardson almost killed it in the late 1970s/early 80s. What you don't find in today's NBA, but that you do find in the NFL, are cases where players are connected to big time serious crimes like the Jamal Lewis' obstruction case (involving drug trafficking). You don't hear of former NBA players trafficking 600lbs!! of marajuana like Nate Newton. Ray Lewis, a popular player and frequent product endorser, most likely participated in or at least covered up a back alley murder. Rae Carruth actually committed murder (or at least paid for it). And that's not even getting into the fact that you see far more domestic violence incidents that involve the police in the NFL than the NBA. There are more guys who get caught doing stuff in the NFL that could get you hard time for than the NBA--and you don't even have to think hard about that.
Posted by dave crockett
There's also a LOT more players in the NFL than the NBA. There is going to be more idiots when you have more people. The real question would be: Which sport has the most morons per capita?
ReplyDeletePosted by Bluefoot
CONGRESS!
ReplyDelete(oops, you said Sport, not organization, my bad!)
Posted by alba