Monday, September 24, 2007

Chad Johnson Goes Home Without Kissin' My Cheerleaders

My heart swelled with enourmous pride on Sunday. The 12th man came with full force and gave the Bengals' offense more problems than they expected. Brian Russel and Deon Grant picked Carson Palmer clean. The run defense stopped the running back eight times for losses. And most importantly, Ocho Cinco came away with nada touchdown celebrations.

In case you missed it, Chad Johnson ran his mouth last week about his possible touchdown celebrations:

"You know what would be a good celebration? To do something using the cheerleaders in Seattle, just walk up and kiss one. I can't get fined (by the NFL) for kissing."

Now, I realize that none of the Seagals know I exist. But dammit! Those are my cheerleaders. Not to mention, I couldn't walk up and kiss one without getting arrested, so why should be able to?

I'd like to personally thank the Seahawks' defense for keeping Johnson out of the end zone. Because if he did this, I know I would have jumped the railing and cold-cocked the motherfucker. It would have been stupid, but I would have defended her honor; I would have gone to jail.

I know this doesn't make sense, but it's right. Right?


  1. I would have loved to have one of the Seahawks field personnel get their hands on Chad's bag of tricks from Sunday, because you KNOW he had something planned.

    It would have been great to "uncover" it after the game, like Hiraldo Rivera and the Al Capone vault!

  2. I wish Shaun had scored twice and Nate B hadn't dropped the earlier TD, and Johnson scored late in the game to bring them within 16. It's a missed opportunity when he doesn't get to celebrate IMO. Otherwise, very exciting game. Oh, and you guys are gay, or something. I didn't mean to post serious here. Dickjoke!