Monday, June 18, 2007

New Hope for Lesbians Who Can't Hit A Softball

Used to be that if you were a young, female athlete, your best hopes of hitting it big was in the local women's softball league, teaching gym, or as a donor sperm catcher for Martina Navratilova!

But now there's new hope for you girls with the pageboy haircuts who may have trouble hitting that leather grapefruit.

Thanks to this obscure link on, you can tool up to the Cincinnati Sizzle headquarters in your Rav4 and try another activity predominately reserved for those of us with penises!

Yes, there is something called the National Women's Football League, and it's got the endorsement of NFL icons Franco Harris and Albert Woods. If this league catches on, I can just see the product endorsement deals now...

"Don't get caught doing the Icky Shuffle to the locker room. When it's that time of the month, use the new and improved Steel Curtain panty liner, from Playtex! Remember our motto: Let no ball carrier ever pass through this gap!"

It's only fair to warn you before clicking the link to the video, that these are not the lipstick lesbians from your favorite Penthouse pictorial, or the Power Puff girls from the Lingerie Bowl. No siree. These are big-boned, water-retaining, corn-fed American ladies who would make Rosie O'Donnell and the Fat Oprah seem like the Olsen Twins!

All I have to say is, if this is what we'll be stuck with to fill the off-season void until the big boys start playing again, Good God Richie Cunningham, don't put NFL Europa to death just yet!

1 comment:

  1. Pretty small minded of you to think those girls can't hit a softball. Sexist.

    That said, I'd hit it.