Q: What's missing from this picture of Bill Cowher?
A: A trophy!
Bill "I'm not related to Colin" Cowher found out that it's much more difficult to bring home the iron when you haven't paid off the head official or share a hometown with a member of his crew.
Faced with a level playing field and equipped only with his talents and abilities, Kordell Stewart's soul-mate finished the ABC-Gillette thinly veiled infomercial known as Fast Cars & Superstars: Gillette Young Guns Celebrity Race, where he should have finished in the 2005 playoffs - dead last.
When asked to comment about his pitiful performance, the former coach of the Stealers said, "I drove today a lot like Ben Roethlisberger played in Super Bowl XL, which is to say like total crap. I guess I took winning for granted when your owner is a beloved icon of the good-old-boy network, and you have two or three refs in your back pocket. I thought I understood what the NFL did for us a couple of years ago, but after learning how hard it is to compete when a contest is judged fairly, I really appreciate it."
Of course, this would be a feel good story for most fans of the Seahawks, if my journalistic integrity didn't bind me to full disclosure on this made-for-TV racing event, forcing me to acknowledge that the winner's trophy was claimed by another notoriously hated individual throughout Seahawk Nation.
But as much as it pains me to admit it, at least when the Elway-lead Broncos were kicking our asses up and down the AFC West, they were doing it fairly and squarely, and not with assistance from any zebra-striped performance enhancing substances!