What kind of fan are you?

This is basically an edited and updated reposting of something I wrote in the blogs in mid-December. At the time, I had been frustrated and mystified at some of the confabulated negativity of some of the bloggers on the Seattle PI site. The following was my pensive rant:


IMO there are four basic types of fans these days. I know there are probably several dozen subtypes, but for the sake of coherence, I will cover just the basic types:

1. DIEHARD FAN. Self explanatory, but for contrast this type of fan will root for their team (albeit quietly) even when their team is 0-16. They bleed their team's color, cheer a 8 yard completion on third and 10, etc.. They mentally circle dates on the calendar when their team will play a rival or a touchstone team. Either already has, or currently longs for, freinds that are fans of the same team. RESPECTS FANS OF OTHER TYPES AND EVEN OTHER TEAMS, BUT IS LOYAL TO THEIR TEAM TO THE BITTER END. Caught referring to the team as "we" more often than the other types. Not only knows of the players on the team but also 2nd, 3rd string and practice squad. For some unrelated reason if they have a pet, they spend time with it. They also tend to be the 'giver' in human relationships.

2. BANDWAGON FAN. May have freinds that are Diehards, but tend to 'jump on' or 'jump off' the teams' proverbial bandwagon almost entirely dependent on the W-L record of the team, but also effected by the comparison the record to perceived expectations. They can't tell you much about the history of the club or the players; they weren't there during the hard times. Because of this sometimes their analysis and insight into the team falls short, but their enthusiasm for the team is fun to watch. You'd swear they were bipolar. But the biggest difference between DIE HARD and BANDWAGON is one essential human quality: Loyalty. If BANDWAGON has a pet, they most often merely feed it and leave it in the yard. Usually the 'taker' in human relationships.

3. CLOSET FAN. Sort of a hybrid of BANDWAGON FAN and DIE HARD. They are unusual in that they jump on and off the bandwagon the same as the BANDWAGON fan but they are still loyal to the team like DIE HARD. They stop following the team when it becomes just too painful to watch them be continually trampled. They are still true to their first love, however, and never really bring themselves to even liking another team. They can't even follow the sport, the pain is so great, because it reminds them of their fallen heroes. This type has usually had some bad experiences with pets. Tends to yo-yo in human relationships.

4. ANTI-FAN. This sort of fan is the one I am recently becoming aware of. They are another offshoot of BANDWAGON but they deserve their own category, because of their unusual psychosis. They start out by tending to drift from team to team in a sport, jumping from one bandwagon to another, but they attatch themselves to their home team at some point, usually when expectations are high and they win a few games. What is interesting about this fan is they finally BEGIN to understand loyalty, and they get a taste of what the love of the home team is all about, but when the team loses a few games it really hits the fan.

They become internally conflicted. At this point with their former favorite teams they would normally have moved on; but when they try to do this with the home team, they realize the knawing hunger they have for community and camaraderie that come with rooting for the home team. They have not developed the maturity necessary to give support in a disappointing season, but now coupled with the desire to have the home team win, they implode. Instead of 'jumping ship' on the whole team they abandon, and even turn against, individuals in the organization that they would like to love.

They do this in a way that defies reason. In a particularly rabid manner, they find fault with people that are actually among the best at their postion and are responsible for the amount of success the team has had up to this point. They end up being in the ludicrous position of rooting AGAINST these people and will flame out on the message boards with horrible basesless takes whenever their team loses, and be mysteriously silent when the team wins. For this reason I will now call them ANTI-FAN.

For whatever reason, these people do not tolerate pets and have difficulty maintaining human relationships.

Sorry about the long post. I'm in a groove.

GO SEAHAWKS!