monkey's rant: What I have learned from the media

Here at almost the halfway point of the season, I thought it may be informative to talk about what I have learned thus far about the Seahawks from the "experts" in the media. I will start at the beginning so as to put it into proper perspective.

In the offseason, I learned from the media that this team had WAY too many front office problems to be competitive. John Clayton, for example, wrote us off very early on, giving us virtually no chance, by loudly proclaiming that our front office problems were the worst in the NFL and that it could only lead to on field performance issues.

I also learned that because Shaun Alexander had not been signed to a long term deal our Offense would suffer, and we would not be able to score enough points to overcome the problems our (pathetic) Defense would cause for us on the field.

I learned that our Defense, after losing two linebackers (Anthony Simmons and Chad Brown, who were hurt so often, they hardly ever played), would be horrible. Never mind that we signed Sharper (who the media grudgingly admitted was halfway decent, though obviously not nearly as good as the two linebackers the Rams signed over the offseason, or the two we lost), and never mind that through the draft we aquired linebackers like Lofa Tatupu to fill the void. Besides, I learned from the media that Lofa Tatutpu was a HUGE reach in the second round, that he was way too slow and way too small to ever be productive in the NFL.

I learned that two guys who we simply let walk away, Okeafor and Huff, were so special that they would immediately, along with Kurt Warner, make the Cardinals the team to beat in the NFC West. Even adding Bryce Fisher to our DLine would not be nearly enough to replace the (apparently) incredible Chike Okeafor.

I learned from the media that we will finish third in our division behind the Cardinals (who will win the division) and the Rams who will finish a close second and most likely get a wildcard berth, while we miss the playoffs altogether.

In the preseason I learned nothing really, because on one hand the media has to make a big deal out of the preseason to get anyone to care, but at the same time has to constantly point out that the preseason really means nothing. Even the information that we can gather for ourselves, by watching the individual performances on the field in the preseason do not really mean anything, even though, when those performances come from media darlings, or from media darling teams, they CLEARLY mean a great deal. If that sounds confusing, let me explain it this way; if the Eagles win a preseason game, it is because they are an AWESOME team, if the Seahawks win a preseason game, it is because the preseason doesn't mean anything. If Dante Culpepper, lights it up in a preseason game, it is because he is a world class athlete who is obviously ready for the season to begin. If Matt Hasselbeck lights it up in the preseason, it is because the preseason doesn't really mean anything.

Here's what I've learned in the regular season so far.

In the first week of the regular season I learned that the Jaguars were not a great team but rather, just a decent team with little chance of making the playoffs; and that by losing to the Jaguars, the Seahawks were obviously nowhere even close to being a playoff contender.

In the second week, (before hand anyway) I learned that the Falcons were an elite team, maybe even better than the Eagles who they had beaten in week one and we had no chance whatsoever against this juggernaut.
Of course after we beat the Falcons, I learned that we only won due to the fact that the Falcons played a HORRIBLE game, nowhere near what they were capable of, probably due to the fact that they were coming off such a big win. Apparently this was a letdown game for them.

In the third week, I learned that even though we easily beat the Cardinals, (the preseason darlings to win the division) this did not mean that we were the team to beat in the west or even a good team at all.
Here I must admit that I am still a bit hazy on the reasons given for how the media could have been wrong about the Cardinals, but I did learn that it was clearly through no fault of thier own and that the Cardinals were obviously not a good team, so therefore our victory over them really meant nothing.

In the fourth week, I learned that the Redskins (like the Jaguars) were not really a very good team, even though admittedly thier defense was among the leagues best like the Jags, and in spite of the fact that up to that point they were unbeaten.
I also learned that the media is very good at saying "see I told you so." The media was very quick to point out that the Seahawks are still chokers, who still do not know how to win close games on the road.

In the fifth week, I learned (before the game) that according to several sources, including Sports Weekly, we had no chance against the mighty Rams in St. Louis and that Marc Bulger, who is an elite QB in the NFL would "absolutely chew up our secondary picking us apart all game long," leaving us once again the hapless Seahawks, who cannot get over the hump of mediocrity.
After the game I learned that the media is very good at making excuses for being wrong and that obviously the Rams just had an off day. This DID NOT mean however that we were a good team, NO, far from it, it just meant that...well..., (here the information I got from the media was a bit hazy).

In week six, I learned before the game that we were actually the favorites to win, but that we would most likely play down to the competition, and just barely squeak one out, since we still haven't learned how to really put an opponent away. Afterwards I learned that the Texans are simply so bad that even the pathetic Forty Niners would have destroyed the Texans like we did, only maybe even worse.

I also learned from Michael Irvin, (who has been saying all along that the Seahawks were a terrible team), that when discussing the top teams in the NFC, we must leave out the Seahawks because they should not be considered among the best in the NFC. To quote his words "SEATTLE! Don't even give me Seattle hehehe, they're a joke!" Then he went on to explain that the best teams in the NFC were the Eagles (mostly because of T.O. who is clearly not a mere mortal but is at the very least a demi-god who definintely needs to get paid whatever he wants, and the Falcons because of Michael Vick, who even though he is only a QB and not a WR also neatly fits into the demi-god label. (I was not able to discover why it is that the Falcons were clearly so much better than us even though we had already beaten them, but I am sure there is a perfectly good explanation). He then told the world that we had no chance against the Cowboys.

In week seven I learned that the Cowboys just played a bad game, that they just choked one away. (Michael Irvin did not really want to discuss it, he just simply said that he had no idea how the Cowboys managed to lose this game, then went on to discuss what were obviously much more interesting things, like how he had been the greatest WR to ever play in Dallas if not in the entire NFL). Once again, this victory does not mean that we are a good team, just very, very lucky.

This of course brings us to the bye week, so let me summarise. Thus far I have learned that the Seahawks are clearly NOT a good team no matter how many games they win, because we only win, due to the fact that the other team had a bad game.

I have learned that beating teams like the Rams on the road, the Cowboys and the Falcons does not mean we are better than them, just lucky.

I have learned the truth about the Seahawks can be more clearly seen in thier two close losses on the road.

I have learned that no matter how many games we win, the Seahawks should not be considered among the leagues best, (though the reasons that this is true are still rather vague).

I have learned that if you work in the media, it is perfectly OK to say one thing early on then abruptly do a 180 degree turn around, and say something completely different later on, after you are proven to be wrong. It's OK to pretend that you had been actually saying the second thing all along. It is also perfectly OK to not only break your ankles jumping off and onto bandwagons, but to pretend that you had really been on the new bandwagon all along.

I am now learning that the "experts" who early on had said that we had no chance, are perfectly within thier rights to now say that they had claimed we would have a chance all along, while at the same time, still maintaining that we are not a very good team. (I know this sounds confusing, but apparently it is true, because the media said it is).

Most importantly I have learned that the media and all the "experts" are NEVER, EVER really wrong, there are always perfectly good (though somewhat confusing) explanations for how they missed it.