Monday, September 25, 2006

Death by Bully-Bully!

As noted in my lead-in post to this piece on AOL, would you rather die quickly, like in a car accident, or slowly, like after a prolonged illness? Watching the Giants suffer a quick death yesterday, versus the slow death in the game last year, I was reminded of this old joke, which I paraphrased for this environment...

Jon Kitna, Kurt Warner and Eli Manning are on a jungle safari, when they are captured by a pigmy tribe and brought to the tribal leader. The tribal leader finds them guilty of desecrating their holy grounds, and gives them the choice between DEATH or BULLY-BULLY.

Jon Kitna is the first to choose his fate, and not wanting to die, chooses BULLY-BULLY, even though he has no idea what that might be. When they hear "bully-bully", the tribe starts to go nuts, chanting and dancing, as three of the biggest men take Mr. Kitna, strip him naked, and tie him over the tribal rock. All the males in the tribe have their way with him.

Next up to choose his fate is Kurt Warner, who after witnessing that whole scene, also chooses BULLY-BULLY rather than DEATH. Again, the tribe goes nuts, ties Kurt over the rock, and continues with the ritual well into the night.

The next morning it's Eli's turn, and after thinking about it all night, decides that DEATH may be a better option than getting humiliated in that way. So as he is offered the choices by the tribal elder, he loudly proclaims DEATH, so as to leave no doubt in the minds of the rest of the tribe.

The tribal elder gives Eli a knowing nod, and then announces to the rest of the tribe, "I condemn this man to DEATH...DEATH by BULLY-BULLY!"

The moral of the story is, that no matter how quick or how slowly it is administered, when you go up against this Seattle defense, it will be a humiliating, painful experience, that may lead you to believe you'd be better off dead!

Rex Grossman, those drums you hear in the distances are an evil foreboding...choose wisely my good man.

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  1. Anyone else remember the episode of Futurama where they go to the Amazon Planet and all the men are sentenced to death by Snu Snu?

    Crushed pelvis...what a horrible yet awesome way to die.

  2. Never watched the show.

    So, what's SNU with you?

  3. That was great. Hilarious I'm still laughing really I am.